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Blaming the Victim

Kelzie

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So, I'm at school orientation today (okay a little rant first, transfer students should not have to go through orientation), and we have to watch this little skit on a "real life situation" and respond to it. The situation we watch is this girl getting trashed at a party, stripping while talking with this guy about sex, taking him to a room to make out, and then she gets raped.

Now, I am not saying rape is okay. No means no, the guy should go to prison. But I make one little comment about not placing yourself in a unsafe situation and this crazy uber-fem jumps all over me about how I'm "blaming the victim"

I mean, if a person goes for a walk at 2 in the morning down a dark alley in a big city, and he gets shot, that's bad, and evil, and shouldn't have happened. But maybe he should have waited until daylight to go for a stroll.

Any thoughts? Can there be any personal responsibilty for rape? Or am I a disgrace to my gender?
 

Pacridge

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Kelzie said:
So, I'm at school orientation today (okay a little rant first, transfer students should not have to go through orientation), and we have to watch this little skit on a "real life situation" and respond to it. The situation we watch is this girl getting trashed at a party, stripping while talking with this guy about sex, taking him to a room to make out, and then she gets raped.

Now, I am not saying rape is okay. No means no, the guy should go to prison. But I make one little comment about not placing yourself in a unsafe situation and this crazy uber-fem jumps all over me about how I'm "blaming the victim"

I mean, if a person goes for a walk at 2 in the morning down a dark alley in a big city, and he gets shot, that's bad, and evil, and shouldn't have happened. But maybe he should have waited until daylight to go for a stroll.

Any thoughts? Can there be any personal responsibilty for rape? Or am I a disgrace to my gender?
I certainly see what you're trying to say. People put themselves in crappy situations all the time. Then act surprised when bad things happen to them. There's absolutely no excuse someone sexually assaulting another person. But putting yourself in a situation like that just isn't smart.
 

Kelzie

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Pacridge said:
I certainly see what you're trying to say. People put themselves in crappy situations all the time. Then act surprised when bad things happen to them. There's absolutely no excuse someone sexually assaulting another person. But putting yourself in a situation like that just isn't smart.
Thank you! I feel so much better. Man, even the actors were glaring at me. Does nobody in college feel that they have to make intelligent choices about their "extra-curriculear" activities?
 

CanadianGuy

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I'm sure it was just the Liberals who were glarring. lol :lol:
 

Kelzie

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CanadianGuy said:
I'm sure it was just the Liberals who were glarring. lol :lol:
Hey I'm a liberal :2razz:
 

Kelzie

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CanadianGuy said:
I thought you were I remeber you from another post. But I guess your center left then?
:lol: Why because I believe in making safe choices?

I am a democratic socialist. Pretty far from the center...So do some people really support this chain of thinking?
 

CanadianGuy

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I do actually most of my family would to but were all conservative of course my friends I'm not so sure :lol: thier all liberal
 

Naughty Nurse

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Hi Kelzie,


I absolutely agree with you - rape is rape and should be punished accordingly, but we should also take some responsibility for our own safety by trying to avoid risky situations as much as is compatable with leading a normal life.

But society seems to be going the opposite way - like the people who try to sue fast-food chains because they got fat.
 

vergiss

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I get what you're saying, but it depends what you definre as an "unsafe situation". When a friend of mine was 15 she went to a guy's house, alone, because she trusted him. He ended up spiking her drink and raping her. Now, some might say that it's never safe for a young girl to be by herself with a guy. Others (like me) would think nothing of being the only one around when hanging out with a male friend.

People do foolish things, that is certainly true. However, rape is rape. No one deserves it, ever. Just because you making out with someone at a party (and in this scenario, the girl was supposed to be drunk - as if people are responsible when drunk, anyway) doesn't mean that you brought it upon yourself in any way.

Solution? Castrate the bastards who are responsible. *nod* :D
 

Kelzie

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vergiss said:
I get what you're saying, but it depends what you definre as an "unsafe situation". When a friend of mine was 15 she went to a guy's house, alone, because she trusted him. He ended up spiking her drink and raping her. Now, some might say that it's never safe for a young girl to be by herself with a guy. Others (like me) would think nothing of being the only one around when hanging out with a male friend.

People do foolish things, that is certainly true. However, rape is rape. No one deserves it, ever. Just because you making out with someone at a party (and in this scenario, the girl was supposed to be drunk - as if people are responsible when drunk, anyway) doesn't mean that you brought it upon yourself in any way.

Solution? Castrate the bastards who are responsible. *nod* :D
I never would think anyone ever deserves to be raped. But there are choices that can be made that will make you safer. Not getting wasted is one of them. But it's not fool proof, nothing is. You can always wear your seat belt and still end up dying in a car crash. Doesn't mean you should stop wearing it. And if you do stop wearing it, and you get injured in a car crash, there is some personal responsibilty that should be taken. It might not be your fault, but you still could have made safer choices.

And I would say your friend could have done nothing to prevent what happened to her. I was certainly hanging out with guys at her age. Sometimes, you make good choices and life sucks anyway.
 

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Kelzie said:
I never would think anyone ever deserves to be raped. But there are choices that can be made that will make you safer. Not getting wasted is one of them. But it's not fool proof, nothing is. .

No one deserves to be raped.. true
Making choices tomake you safer help.. true
being conscious of your suroundings helps make you safer... true

however, I don't know that getting wasted is something that causes rape. Its not a terrible thing, in the right situation. IF you are getting wasted with say, your best friends, and you believe you are in a safe place, what says getting wasted is wrong?

If you are getting wasted at say a frat party.. and you didn't bring friends with you or your friends are far more wasted then you... you need to rethink your choices.

I don't believe that alcohol is directly related to rapes. It has an impact on many, but there are so many rapes that are not involved with alcohol...

they shouldn't be forced into a single box.

Of course what kind of orientation brought this to your attention as a transfer student.. lol..

I know that you weren't saying that alcohol is directly related to rape.

I guess that is just where my mind wondered to.... both people have some part in a rape, i wouldn't say that its always blaming the victim.. but nevertheless... it happens too often. ( which is probably why the fembot jumped down your throat:lol: )
 

Kelzie

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deadroses said:
No one deserves to be raped.. true
Making choices tomake you safer help.. true
being conscious of your suroundings helps make you safer... true

however, I don't know that getting wasted is something that causes rape. Its not a terrible thing, in the right situation. IF you are getting wasted with say, your best friends, and you believe you are in a safe place, what says getting wasted is wrong?

If you are getting wasted at say a frat party.. and you didn't bring friends with you or your friends are far more wasted then you... you need to rethink your choices.

I don't believe that alcohol is directly related to rapes. It has an impact on many, but there are so many rapes that are not involved with alcohol...

they shouldn't be forced into a single box.

Of course what kind of orientation brought this to your attention as a transfer student.. lol..

I know that you weren't saying that alcohol is directly related to rape.

I guess that is just where my mind wondered to.... both people have some part in a rape, i wouldn't say that its always blaming the victim.. but nevertheless... it happens too often. ( which is probably why the fembot jumped down your throat:lol: )
I know getting wasted sometimes is okay (except for what it does to your liver) in the right situation. I was speaking of it more in the frat scenario, but I really didn't feel like making a list of the do-s and don't-s.:mrgreen:

And I really don't think transfer students should have to sit through all that crap. Get us in, get us registered, get us out. We've been through it all before anyway
 
H

HTColeman

Kelzie said:
So, I'm at school orientation today (okay a little rant first, transfer students should not have to go through orientation), and we have to watch this little skit on a "real life situation" and respond to it. The situation we watch is this girl getting trashed at a party, stripping while talking with this guy about sex, taking him to a room to make out, and then she gets raped.

Now, I am not saying rape is okay. No means no, the guy should go to prison. But I make one little comment about not placing yourself in a unsafe situation and this crazy uber-fem jumps all over me about how I'm "blaming the victim"

I mean, if a person goes for a walk at 2 in the morning down a dark alley in a big city, and he gets shot, that's bad, and evil, and shouldn't have happened. But maybe he should have waited until daylight to go for a stroll.

Any thoughts? Can there be any personal responsibilty for rape? Or am I a disgrace to my gender?

As a guy, I wouldn't say this at the orientation for fear of the wrath of woman, but we put ourselves in compromising positions. On the flip side, if a guy is falsely accused of rape, lets say it was the same situation as above, but she was lying, he has personal responsibility. He knew that she was drunk and he put himself in a position to be accused of such things.
 

Kelzie

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HTColeman said:
As a guy, I wouldn't say this at the orientation for fear of the wrath of woman, but we put ourselves in compromising positions. On the flip side, if a guy is falsely accused of rape, lets say it was the same situation as above, but she was lying, he has personal responsibility. He knew that she was drunk and he put himself in a position to be accused of such things.
Which is why you should never sleep with a drunk girl. Just remove yourself from that situation, give her your phone number and call it a night.
 
H

HTColeman

I don't know all of the details of that Natalie girl in Aruba, but it seems to me there are several problems with her and her friends actions, the primary one being:

Who is going to let your friend walk out of a club drunk with a bunch of dudes in a foreign country?
 

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Kelzie said:
Which is why you should never sleep with a drunk girl. Just remove yourself from that situation, give her your phone number and call it a night.

Are you saying that if two people get drunk and then have sex, the guy's somehow at fault?
 

Kelzie

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Pacridge said:
Are you saying that if two people get drunk and then have sex, the guy's somehow at fault?
When did I even imply at that? What's he at fault for? What I was saying, along with Coleman, is that with the number of guys accused of raping a girl when they are both drunk, it might be a better idea to keep it in your pants until you're sober and can remember things a little more clearly.
 

Pacridge

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Kelzie said:
When did I even imply at that? What's he at fault for? What I was saying, along with Coleman, is that with the number of guys accused of raping a girl when they are both drunk, it might be a better idea to keep it in your pants until you're sober and can remember things a little more clearly.
Then I absolutely agree with you. Just when you said "Which is why you should never sleep with a drunk girl." It sounded like you possibly could be saying that. Just asking for clarification.
 

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Originally Posted by Kelzie
So, I'm at school orientation today (okay a little rant first, transfer students should not have to go through orientation), and we have to watch this little skit on a "real life situation" and respond to it. The situation we watch is this girl getting trashed at a party, stripping while talking with this guy about sex, taking him to a room to make out, and then she gets raped.

Now, I am not saying rape is okay. No means no, the guy should go to prison. But I make one little comment about not placing yourself in a unsafe situation and this crazy uber-fem jumps all over me about how I'm "blaming the victim"

I mean, if a person goes for a walk at 2 in the morning down a dark alley in a big city, and he gets shot, that's bad, and evil, and shouldn't have happened. But maybe he should have waited until daylight to go for a stroll.

Any thoughts? Can there be any personal responsibilty for rape? Or am I a disgrace to my gender?
I think rape is rape,does not matter if a girl gets trashed and acts like a skank.However these particular cases should be used as examples to other girls what not to do at a party because of the degenerate scumbags out there.This should be preached as "if you do this,this will more than likely happen to you."
 

Pacridge

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jamesrage said:
I think rape is rape,does not matter if a girl gets trashed and acts like a skank.However these particular cases should be used as examples to other girls what not to do at a party because of the degenerate scumbags out there.This should be preached as "if you do this,this will more than likely happen to you."
I think they should be used as examples for the young men too, don't you? I agree with Kelzie. If you're trashed you should exchange numbers. Let's face it drunk kids don't make great decisions. Drunks just don't make good decisions. Good songs every now and then, not decisions though.
 

Kelzie

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Pacridge said:
I think they should be used as examples for the young men too, don't you? I agree with Kelzie. If you're trashed you should exchange numbers. Let's face it drunk kids don't make great decisions. Drunks just don't make good decisions. Good songs every now and then, not decisions though.
And books too...what was that author who always wrote drunk...can't remember his name now. English dude, long time ago...someone help me out.
 

Kelzie

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Pacridge said:
James Joyce?
Maybe...who wrote Canterbury Tales? Chaucer (sp?) right...maybe him? Maybe a lot of English dudes.:mrgreen:
 

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Kelzie said:
And books too...what was that author who always wrote drunk...can't remember his name now. English dude, long time ago...someone help me out.
Edgar Allen Poe is rumored to have died from alchohol poisoning, which is a tough thing to do...you almost have to go out of your way to do that.

I guess that beating was his head every morning, and not some tell-tale heart....
 
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