Stop lying.
My question is where is the evidence. I am constantly investigating.
You know this. You know that if you provide decent evidence of the existance of somethoing like God I will be fascinated. You know this. Who do you think believes your lies? I don't, nobody else will consider them reasonable. So it must be lying to yourself. Stop iit you are damaging your own sanity.
Investigate for yourself...it's not gonna fall outta the sky and hit you on the head...plenty of people have and they do believe...so now, who's lying?