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Best Quotes of All Time

Hornburger

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Post your favorite quotes...
 

mixedmedia

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Hornburger said:
Post your favorite quotes...
I like Ambrose Bierce.....The Devil's Dictionary (1911)...everybody should own a copy...just a sampling.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Brain, n.: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Cabbage, n.: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Childhood, n.: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Corporation, n.: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Coward, n.: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Dawn, n.: When men of reason go to bed.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Faith, n.: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

Fork, n.: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

Logic, n.: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Mayonnaise, n.: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Meekness, adj.: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

Ocean, n.: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Saint, n.: A dead sinner revised and edited.
 

128shot

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"Any man who tells himself he's worth his weight in gold is either fat or a liar"
 

TimmyBoy

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Though I favor capitalism I do like to read political writings from people of all politics. Here is one of my favorites from Noam Chomsky:

“…jingoism, racism, fear, religious fundamentalism: these are the ways of appealing to people if you’re trying to organize a mass base of support for policies that are really intended to crush them.” -Noam Chomsky
 

Plain old me

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Voltaire - when a Priest asked him on his deathbed to renounce Satan:
"Now now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
 

cnredd

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John McKay, first head coach for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers - whose team went 0-14 their first season...

"We didn't tackle anyone today...But we made up for it by not blocking anyone either."

Reporter - "What do you think about your team's execution?"

John McKay - "I'm all for it."

Tug McGraw, former Phillies pitcher...

Reporter - "What do you like better; grass or astroturf?"

Tug - "I don't know...I've never smoked astroturf."

Reporter - "What are you gonna do with the money from your new contract?"

Tug - "I'm gonna spend 90% of it on booze, cars and women...The rest; I'll probably just waste it."

:2wave:
 

cnredd

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galenrox said:
"Galen, we're gonna start up a fan club for you, becuase we think this world needs a Galen fan club" - 2 girls at this party I went to last night
Rosanne Barr and Della Reese
 

Red_Dave

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Oscar Wilde came out with some good ones

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

so did Aldous Huxley
Maybe this world is another planet's hell


There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.

and douglas adams

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.


The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
 

Comrade Brian

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Marx had some excellent quotes:

"The last capitalist we hang shall be the one that sold us the rope."

"You will!"
Apocryphal retort to a heckler asking who would clean the floors after the revolution.

"The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs."

"Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."
Marx's purported last words
 

Billo_Really

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"Houston, we have a problem!"

"What we have here, is a failure to communicate".

"You can't handle the truth!"

"I am not a crook."

"I think. Therefore, I am."
 

FinnMacCool

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“…jingoism, racism, fear, religious fundamentalism: these are the ways of appealing to people if you’re trying to organize a mass base of support for policies that are really intended to crush them.” -Noam Chomsky
__________________
Chompsky is an anarchist. For some reason, cons try to write him off as a socialist but a simple search into google will reveal that he is, in fact, an anarchist.
 

Red_Dave

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FinnMacCool said:
Chompsky is an anarchist. For some reason, cons try to write him off as a socialist but a simple search into google will reveal that he is, in fact, an anarchist.
He,s anarcho-syndicalist so thats technically a form of socialism
 

FinnMacCool

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He,s anarcho-syndicalist so thats technically a form of socialism
Sounds a lot like anarchism to me. The only thing that looked a lot like socialism to me was the whole workers solidity thing, whatever thats about.
 

tecoyah

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
 

cnredd

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"I'd rather have a German Division in front of me than a French Division behind me" - General Patton
 

FinnMacCool

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"I'd rather have a German Division in front of me than a French Division behind me" - General Patton
I don't understand how Patton could've said that. He had friends in the French military so I don't get why he would insult them. SOmetimes I think its just something conservatives made up like the time someone made up Bush saying "The problem with the French is they don't have a word for entrepreneur " cause he never actually said that. It was just something anti Bushers made up to make fun of him.
 

cnredd

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FinnMacCool said:
I don't understand how Patton could've said that. He had friends in the French military so I don't get why he would insult them. SOmetimes I think its just something conservatives made up like the time someone made up Bush saying "The problem with the French is they don't have a word for entrepreneur " cause he never actually said that. It was just something anti Bushers made up to make fun of him.
awwwwww...

If you'd like, I can take this to the Conspiracy Theories Forum...:roll:
 

FinnMacCool

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Okay folks. Take that whole quote and put it into yahoo search. Not a single historical website will show up. Its all just a bunch of conservative crap and stuff from forums.

Conclusion: Patton never actually said that.
 

cnredd

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FinnMacCool said:
Okay folks. Take that whole quote and put it into yahoo search. Not a single historical website will show up. Its all just a bunch of conservative crap and stuff from forums.

Conclusion: Patton never actually said that.
Riiiight....

No one put it on their historical reference page, so it must not have ever have happened...:roll:

When searched through Comcast(which is "Powered by Google") this is what I got...(partial quote in case a word or two has been changed)

Web Search ResultsResults 1 - 10 of about 74,500 for I'd rather have a German Division

It's nice to see you've gone through all of these and took the time to discount every one...

BTW - A quote is still a quote... EVEN IF the attribution to Patton was wrong, that doesn't deny the existance of it...It has been said on multiple occasions, and your accusation of it being false or wrongly attributed doesn't deny the fact that it's still one of my "Best Quotes of All Time"!...

I don't care if it was said by Scooby Doo...I think it's funny as sh!t and could care less if you think otherwise...

Next time I post in one of your threads, I'll make sure I preamble with you and get the proper clearance...:roll:
 

FinnMacCool

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Hmm. . .well nonetheless Patton is a larger then life figure and the fact that he didn't actually have the quote is significant in my opinion.

It just makes a lot of sense that he wouldn't have said that quote as Patton had a lot of respect for the French military and he, in fact, avoided fighting the French because he had friends in the French brass. Thats pretty much what made me doubt that the quote could actually have been attributed to him.
 

cnredd

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FinnMacCool said:
Hmm. . .well nonetheless Patton is a larger then life figure and the fact that he didn't actually have the quote is significant in my opinion.

It just makes a lot of sense that he wouldn't have said that quote as Patton had a lot of respect for the French military and he, in fact, avoided fighting the French because he had friends in the French brass. Thats pretty much what made me doubt that the quote could actually have been attributed to him.
That's a hellava lot more intelligent and uninsulting comment than...

Its all just a bunch of conservative crap and stuff from forums.
 

FinnMacCool

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Its all just a bunch of conservative crap and stuff from forums.
Conservative crap, cnredd. Crap as in dumb, meaningless etc.. I do say Liberal crap, Socialist crap,Libertarian crapetc. Partisan in other words. Stuff that is used by people to support their own agenda without facts or substance.

In other words, its not a generalization.
 

cnredd

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FinnMacCool said:
Conservative crap, cnredd. Crap as in dumb, meaningless etc.. I do say Liberal crap, Socialist crap,Libertarian crapetc. Partisan in other words. Stuff that is used by people to support their own agenda without facts or substance.

In other words, its not a generalization.
You'd be correct, EXCEPT for the fact that this is NOT a debating thread...

It's a "Quote" thread...

Everything is legal...

Would you be saying the same thing if someone put up any of Bush's languistic missteps or Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman; Miss Lewinsky."!?!?!?

You can call it "agenda"...You can call it "crap"...But they're still quotes nonetheless, and that was the only intention of this thread, was it not?

If this WASN'T your intent, I suggest you start another thread and include all of the rules you feel neccessary...:roll:
 
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