- Joined
- Jul 23, 2009
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- Libertarian
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
Probably so in Alabama. Not in big cities.
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
What a stupid ****ing reply...
Wouldn't be the first time people in Alabama found the truth offensive. If he asked the question, then it is obvious that the pool of other women is drying up :2wave:
What I find offensive is the ignorance of your reply to an apparently serious question, but, hey, if it's the best you can do...
Really? I didn't think he was being rude. When you live in a state that has more rural than metro areas . . . that's how I took it. (Sorry to butt in . . . ) Illinois has three times the population of Alabama -- that's how I took it.
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
Only if she's smokin' hot.
Seriously, by the time you're serious with a gal who has children, you've already worked out those baby-daddy issues, yes? I mean it's not like you're going to marry them on Date #2, is it? Why rule them out for dating??
Really? I didn't think he was being rude. When you live in a state that has more rural than metro areas . . . that's how I took it. (Sorry to butt in . . . ) Illinois has three times the population of Alabama -- that's how I took it.
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
You're probably still golden, although your limits have always restricted your choices. But at 25, figure a 5 year age difference either way, the pool is still plenty large of unmarried women without children.
But really, Ex-partners are a problem at almost any age regardless of child or childless. Here's one thing you might not have considered. A little truism I have personally found in life - women in my experinece, don't finalize their personalities until they've had a child. That person you're exploring a long term relationship with? You don't have a chance of knowing who they are or how they'll be long term until they've had a child.
I suspect that this post won't make me any friends but I'll take some risk here and share what I have experienced.
Women with children are usually in a desperate situation. It takes 2 people to make a baby and it takes 2 people to adequately nurture one. Men are usually the ones who make a break for it abandoning their woman and their child. Now, the woman must raise the child and provide for the child. This requires suupr-human effort. Even if the woman has a high income, she can not be in 2 places at the same time. So it's either short the job or short the child. If the woman has a low income, she is in double trouble. Day care will consume the majority of her income and the child will be without parental love and care, raised by strangers.
So, the "single mom" is terribly vulnerable. She may choose someone that is not at all appropriate because she is desperate to see her child get the love and attention that the child require.
I have had "girlfriends" who were as much as 40 years younger than me. Do I think for one moment that they were "attracted" to me? Sure, I';m a nice guy and I can hold a conversation and I'm loyal, protective etc. etc. But realistically all they saw in me was economic salvation. And these were decent people, not sluts by any means.
So, don't let it be a deal-breaker. But do make sure that the mutuality isn't based on sheer economics unless, of course, you are OK with that. You can usually get a girl far out of your "looks" class by accepting the child. Long-term though, she might be with you for the wrong reason.
You have a certain amount of point there. Not sure I entirely agree, but there is something to that.
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
Only if she's smokin' hot.
Seriously, by the time you're serious with a gal who has children, you've already worked out those baby-daddy issues, yes? I mean it's not like you're going to marry them on Date #2, is it? Why rule them out for dating??
Usually this is a deal breaker for me. It's not so much the kid; it's having to deal with the baby daddy and all of that baggage.
I would say first of all, we are all different and making a blanket policy about dating could cause you to lose an opportunity. It also depends on the woman, the child, the father and you. What you are looking for? A serious relationship or a casual one? Finding someone you think you have a chance of having a genuine, quality and possibly lasting relationship is not easy so if you are looking for that then I would approach it casually while you learn if all the other issues are going to be a problem for you. That's the only way to know for sure.