Arrogance/Bragging/Boasting[W:37]

[opendebate]

While I was eating lunch today at a local restaurant, a man came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said (paraphrasing):



It made my day.

After he said that I was thinking to myself: "I know I'm a really good teacher. It's nice to hear when other people notice and acknowledge it."

My question --- If I had said that out loud to my group of friends at the table, would that have been seen as arrogant? Would that have been seen as bragging? Was just thinking it arrogant?

No, it's not arrogant. People in this country are so uptight and so concerned about how they will be perceived by others. If you are a good teacher then you're a good teacher! I say take pride in it and share the joy that receiving acknowledgement for such a selfless career choice has brought you.

 

[Medusa]

Sadly this is demonstrably untrue.

she didnt ask us how to self promote herself l think

she asked how to accept a compliment without looking like a jerk :lol:

 

[Manc Skipper]

First, congratulations, but praise comes better from others. I don't know if the phrase still translates... "Blowing your own trumpet" has a negative connotaton.

Blow your own trumpet

 

[Cardinal]

No, it's not arrogant. People in this country are so uptight and so concerned about how they will be perceived by others. If you are a good teacher then you're a good teacher! I say take pride in it and share the joy that receiving acknowledgement for such a selfless career choice has brought you.

Okay. So picture this scenario: Josie is sitting around a table with her colleagues and announces, "I've just been told I'm an awesome teacher!" What sort of reaction do you envision?

For me, I see several possible outcomes:

1) Josie is mentally well balanced: the reaction from around the room is confused because nobody understands why Josie feels the need to announce this.
2) Josie has low self esteem: everybody applauses because they know Josie needs all the help she can get.
3) Josie is extraordinarily arrogant: everybody just rolls their eyes.

 

[Cardinal]

she didnt ask us how to self promote herself l think

she asked how to accept a compliment without looking like a jerk :lol:

No. Re-read the op more carefully.

 

[Medusa]

Okay. So picture this scenario: Josie is sitting around a table with her colleagues and announces, "I've just been told I'm an awesome teacher!" What sort of reaction do you envision?

For me, I see several possible outcomes:

1) Josie is mentally well balanced: the reaction from around the room is confused because nobody understands why Josie feels the need to announce this.
2) Josie has low self esteem: everybody applauses because they know Josie needs all the help she can get.
3) Josie is extraordinarily arrogant: everybody just rolls their eyes.

there are the times when all you need to do is to be a little modest while accepting a compliment

but too much modesty means stupidity when they are trying to insult you

 

[Cardinal]

there are the times when all you need to do is to be a little modest while accepting a compliment

too much modesty means stupidity if they are trying to insult you

Vague and unintelligible.

I say this not to be insulting, but with the understanding that English is not your first language and you haven't communicated your point well.

 

[Medusa]

Vague and unintelligible.

I say this not to be insulting, but with the understanding that English is not your first language and you haven't communicated your point well.

please

no need for cheap attacks l think!

if we will think this way even starting such a thread is a kind of self promotion

l dont think josie needs self promotion if she is good at teaching ?

did you understand now ?

 

[DashingAmerican]

I don't think it's arrogant or bragging if it's backed up.

 

[Cardinal]

please

no need for cheap attacks l think!

English is not your first language. Deal with it.

if we will think this way even starting such a thread is a kind of self promotion

Not necessarily. I see this as a valid discussion on how to handle compliments and self promotion.

l dont think josie needs self promotion if she is good at teaching ?

did you understand now ?

I don't work as a teacher in her field and can't comment on the degree of self promotion that is required of her. It's not the same for everyone.

 

[Cardinal]

I don't think it's arrogant or bragging if it's backed up.

I directly and indirectly know a large number of people who can toot their own horns because they're backed up by the knowledge that they're very, very good. And I can tell you for a fact that if they were to do so past a certain point it would not be looked upon kindly.

There are several classes:
1)Not yet professionally established: these people have to do all the self promotion they can in order to make a name for themselves. This degree of self promotion is forgiven and even widely recognized as necessary.
2)Established: self promotion is seen as minimally required.
3)Rock star: self promotion is entirely unnecessary.

 

[Goshin]

Moderator's Warning:

Easy folks... let's not get overly personal here.

 

[WI Crippler]

It's like one comedian said...Even if you are a hero (he was referring to the guy who landed the plane in the Hudson river a few years back), you can't be a hero unless you say you aren't one. That's how our society works. So if you say "Yeah, I am a good teacher" then that means you aren't. But if you say "Aww shucks, I'm not that good" then you can be considered good.

 

[Medusa]

It's like one comedian said...Even if you are a hero (he was referring to the guy who landed the plane in the Hudson river a few years back), you can't be a hero unless you say you aren't one. That's how our society works. So if you say "Yeah, I am a good teacher" then that means you aren't. But if you say "Aww shucks, I'm not that good" then you can be considered good.

there should be a balance between self esteem and modesty l think :lol:

accepting a compliment without looking self promotional :mrgreen:

 

[Cardinal]

It's like one comedian said...Even if you are a hero (he was referring to the guy who landed the plane in the Hudson river a few years back), you can't be a hero unless you say you aren't one. That's how our society works. So if you say "Yeah, I am a good teacher" then that means you aren't. But if you say "Aww shucks, I'm not that good" then you can be considered good.

Unless I'm mistaken those people didn't say that they weren't good, but that "they were just doing their jobs." That's a very important semantic distinction.

Out of curiosity who was the comedian?

 

[lolabird]

While I was eating lunch today at a local restaurant, a man came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said (paraphrasing):



It made my day.

After he said that I was thinking to myself: "I know I'm a really good teacher. It's nice to hear when other people notice and acknowledge it."

My question --- If I had said that out loud to my group of friends at the table, would that have been seen as arrogant? Would that have been seen as bragging? Was just thinking it arrogant?

Congrats on being recognized as a good teacher; very worthy position to have.

 

[WI Crippler]

Unless I'm mistaken those people didn't say that they weren't good, but that "they were just doing their jobs." That's a very important semantic distinction.

Out of curiosity who was the comedian?

I want to say it was Brian Regan...might be wrong though.

 

[Cardinal]

I want to say it was Brian Regan...might be wrong though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL4kyHfSkPI

"Captain, do you think you're a hero?"

"Yes."

:lol:

Edit: nevermind, I hate him after the "squish squish" part.

 

[Superfly]

While I was eating lunch today at a local restaurant, a man came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said (paraphrasing):



It made my day.

After he said that I was thinking to myself: "I know I'm a really good teacher. It's nice to hear when other people notice and acknowledge it."

My question --- If I had said that out loud to my group of friends at the table, would that have been seen as arrogant? Would that have been seen as bragging? Was just thinking it arrogant?

I wouldn't think it was arrogant at all. I'm sure that all teachers feel that their job is thankless, and it's so rare when someone, out of the blue, comes up and says "Thanks." You have obviously done well, and you should be proud of that. I would not think twice about telling those close to me. I'm sure they agree with the guy that said it.

 

[Tucker Case]

Accurate self-analysis of one's skills is not arrogant.

In order for something to be arrogant, it must be exaggerated and/or overbearing. Arrogant would be saying "I know I'm a better teacher than anyone else in this goddamned district, but these idiots are too stupid to recognize it."

Some people prefer it if others feign incompetence at self-assessment, though. They prefer false modesty to accurate self-confidence, often because they feel intimidated by those who are better at something than they are. The fact of the matter is that you might get accused of arrogance, but if you are not being overbearingly offensive about it or exaggerating things, it's not arrogance.

Think of it this way, if Crippler said "I'm a fairly intelligent person" only someone who was jealous of his intelligence would accuse him of arrogance because it's so obviously true. However, if he tried to say "I'm a fairly dumb person" you'd know he was full of ****.

Now if Crippler said "I'm about a million times smarter than Tucker because Tucker is dumber than a box of cat****" he might well be accurate in stating he's smarter than I am, but he'd either be exaggerating his own intelligence or my lack thereof while also being overbearing and offensive about it.

 

[WI Crippler]

Accurate self-analysis of one's skills is not arrogant.

In order for something to be arrogant, it must be exaggerated and/or overbearing. Arrogant would be saying "I know I'm a better teacher than anyone else in this goddamned district, but these idiots are too stupid to recognize it."

Some people prefer it if others feign incompetence at self-assessment, though. They prefer false modesty to accurate self-confidence, often because they feel intimidated by those who are better at something than they are. The fact of the matter is that you might get accused of arrogance, but if you are not being overbearingly offensive about it or exaggerating things, it's not arrogance.

Think of it this way, if Crippler said "I'm a fairly intelligent person" only someone who was jealous of his intelligence would accuse him of arrogance because it's so obviously true. However, if he tried to say "I'm a fairly dumb person" you'd know he was full of ****.

Now if Crippler said "I'm about a million times smarter than Tucker because Tucker is dumber than a box of cat****" he might well be accurate in stating he's smarter than I am, but he'd either be exaggerating his own intelligence or my lack thereof while also being overbearing and offensive about it.

Jay Cutler is one of the greatest quarterbacks I have ever watched play the game.

 

[opendebate]

Okay. So picture this scenario: Josie is sitting around a table with her colleagues and announces, "I've just been told I'm an awesome teacher!" What sort of reaction do you envision?

For me, I see several possible outcomes:

1) Josie is mentally well balanced: the reaction from around the room is confused because nobody understands why Josie feels the need to announce this.
2) Josie has low self esteem: everybody applauses because they know Josie needs all the help she can get.
3) Josie is extraordinarily arrogant: everybody just rolls their eyes.

You're a dude. Women like to share seemingly random feelings and experiences. So maybe the men would go .. what? but her girlfriends should be happy for you.

 

[Medusa]

You're a dude. Women like to share seemingly random feelings and experiences. So maybe the men would go .. what? but her girlfriends should be happy for you.

it is self promotion according to him l think

 

[joko104]

While I was eating lunch today at a local restaurant, a man came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said (paraphrasing):



It made my day.

After he said that I was thinking to myself: "I know I'm a really good teacher. It's nice to hear when other people notice and acknowledge it."

My question --- If I had said that out loud to my group of friends at the table, would that have been seen as arrogant? Would that have been seen as bragging? Was just thinking it arrogant?

If you won't acknowledge and speak highly of your accomplishments, why should anyone else? If none of that matters even to you, then why should it matter to anyone else?

For the most part, you are to other people how you portray yourself - and part of that is by what you say including about yourself.

Some people think that is wrong for a person to do, and instead will only tell negatives about themselves - either boastfully, jokingly or apologetically. That seems foolish to me. How can others know how people feel about you to you, unless you tell them?

Besides, maybe the person you are talking to thinks people always run down teachers. You obviously should defend against that.

 

[opendebate]

it is self promotion according to him l think

I think men and women are different in this way. We like to share this kind of thing and that really doesn't occur to most men to share for the sake of sharing.