Are you afraid of dying?

[Mell]

Sometimes, when I think about how I will die one day, it gives me the creeps.

I dont know why it is so scary, because it happens to everybody, and it is probably very peaceful after it happens. Afterall, I never had any stress, worries, fears..., before I was conceived.

 

[MaggieD]

I'm not a bit afraid of dying. It's the journey it may take me to get me there. Anyone who's ever had a general anesthetic knows it's just simply lights out.

 

[1069]

Are you afraid of dying?

No, I'm not.
I'm afraid of being left here alone.
I'm afraid of everyone I care about dying before me.
I'm afraid of pain, indignity, incapacitation, and suffering.
But dying, no. Not a bit.
In fact, I wouldn't mind dying right now, today, if that's how it turns out.
Since my kids grew up and left, I kind of feel finished.
I feel like my life is winding down, like everything beyond this point is just going to be one long, boring anticlimax.
Of course, I could be wrong; my life may not be half over yet. A lot more adventures might come my way.
But the thing is, I don't feel like going out looking for adventures anymore, and adventures don't come to me, the way they did when I was young.
So, yeah. I'll be okay with dying whenever it happens.
I've already gotten to do everything fun that I ever wanted to do, except travel. And I don't really even feel like doing that anymore.

 

[Mell]

Anyone who's ever had a general anesthetic knows it's just simply lights out.

Strange that you make that comparison. It is exactly what I thought, when I had the spinal block, before a C-section was performed on me, while I was awake. During the pregnancy, I used to think about what an epidural would be like. It gave me the creeps to think that my lower body would be there, but I would not be able to feel it. Then when it was happening, it was no big deal. I just could not feel my lower body, but it did not creep me out. I think, being dead is a bit like this. One just cant imagine it so it is scary, then when it happens it will be no big deal. We just wont exist anymore, but wont be worrying or anxious about it either because we wont feel anything at all anymore.

 

[Mell]

''I'm afraid of being left here alone. ''

Yeah, that one scares me too.

 

[Mell]

I've already gotten to do everything fun that I ever wanted to do, except travel. And I don't really even feel like doing that anymore.

I think, you should get out there and travel. I have been doing it for the last 22 years on and off. Travel is so much more than you expect it will be.

 

[1069]

I think, you should get out there and travel. I have been doing it for the last 22 years on and off. Travel is so much more than you expect it will be.

That's what my dad keeps telling me.
He's been everywhere; every continent on earth (except, I guess, Antarctica :lol.
And he didn't even start until he was about my age, after I'd left home.
Maybe I will, eventually.
I think I need to step outside my comfort zone more often.

 

[Mell]

Maybe I will, eventually.
I think I need to step outside my comfort zone more often.

In your situation, I would plan one step and then see how you feel about it after you do it. I would close my eyes, and just take a leap of fate and see what it brings me. I would choose any country at all and go there, for even a week. All countries have something to enjoy and/or take an interest in. Sometimes even now, I have to do the leap of fate, to go to some countries where the culture is vastly different to where I come from and thus scary. I practically force myself to buy the plane ticket, and then hurl myself onto the plane. Then, while on the plane, I think it is a good thing I cant jump out. In the last few years, the places which I was most scared of going to were Iran and Kyrgyzstan. But, now I love that I have been to these places. Something about overcomming the fear makes me feel very proud of myself. And, I love the feeling that I have been in places where so few others visit. When they are in the news it means more to me, because I have been in them.

 

[tacomancer]

No, not really. But then again, I don't think that death is the end and better stuff will be waiting for me after.

 

[MKULTRABOY]

Possibly the method or process, I fear an uncomely death. Maybe not fear it, but Id much rather die 'in my boots on my feet' rather than merely hit by a bus, etc. I have gone through some physical/psychological suffering at times to great extents in my life so I feel I could 'take' the death process. I fear dying without having a 'completed' life. A life in which I had accomplished something honorable or purposeful whether to myself or society.

 

[Mell]

I don't think that death is the end and better stuff will be waiting for me after.

That is another think that scares me. I am not so sure I want stuff waiting for me.

 

[tacomancer]

That is another think that scares me. I am not so sure I want stuff waiting for me.

Yeah it can be a disturbing though if you think you will lose.

 

[Mell]

I fear dying without having a 'completed' life. A life in which I had accomplished something honorable or purposeful whether to myself or society.

Since I have had a child, I feel like I have acomplished something important enough to feel I have done something with my time here, so I wont feel I have not done enough even if I die now. But, at the same time, my child makes me want to live longer, because I want to be here to protect her from anything she might need protecting from. I am not sure all this protecting will be necessary, but I still have this strong parenting instinct that keeps me standing by.

 

[Mell]

Yeah it can be a disturbing though if you think you will lose.

I havent even got on to the part about losing yet. Just the thought of stuff waiting for me at all scares me enough. Even the thoughts of good stuff waiting scares me, because I cant imagine what the good stuff could possibly be.

 

[tacomancer]

I havent even got on to the part about losing yet. Just the thought of stuff waiting for me at all scares me enough. Even the thoughts of good stuff waiting scares me, because I cant imagine what the good stuff could possibly be.

If it is good than why would it matter what it is?

 

[1069]

I havent even got on to the part about losing yet. Just the thought of stuff waiting for me at all scares me enough. Even the thoughts of good stuff waiting scares me, because I cant imagine what the good stuff could possibly be.

Yeah, the conventional idea of "heaven" sounds boring to me.
And if the afterlife was just sort of a place where you could have whatever you want, for eternity, how would that work?
What if I want to be with my husband forever, but he'd rather be with somebody else?
What if I want to be with my kids, but they want to be at some endless carnival without any adults for all eternity?
What I'm saying is, how could there not be conflicts of interest, in such a scenario?
We don't all want the same things.

Yet the idea of a generic "heaven" where everybody floats around in the clouds playing harps sounds really unappealing as well.

It's all just hypothetical, though, because I'm an atheist, and I don't think there's anything after we die. No conscious awareness.
I think it's the same as before we were born, and for the same length of time.
Thus we've already been through it (whatever "it" is), so why should we fear going back?

 

[MKULTRABOY]

Since I have had a child, I feel like I have acomplished something important enough to feel I have done something with my time here, so I wont feel I have not done enough even if I die now. But, at the same time, my child makes me want to live longer, because I want to be here to protect her from anything she might need protecting from. I am not sure all this protecting will be necessary, but I still have this strong parenting instinct that keeps me standing by.

I dont see life so much as protecting a would be child but not having enough time to pass on the would be wisdom I have acquired as an adult ond not be there to guide them. I trust my children to be savvy enough to 'defend' themselves. Which is something I believe should be taught to them. But I dont have a kid so I dont really know if my statements hold any root.

 

[Mell]

If it is good than why would it matter what it is?

I dont know. But, the unknown scares me.

 

[tacomancer]

I dont know. But, the unknown scares me.

If there is some existance beyond this life, than you are eventually going to have to face it. I would say the sooner the better (not meaning you should die, but face up to its implications and decide what to do about it)

 

[Mell]

Thus we've already been through it (whatever "it" is), so why should we fear going back?

What if we come back here, to life, in a different body. Same spirit, just different body and no memory of last time we were here. That is a real scary thought for me. I dont want to have a childhood again, because it is just too vulnerable.

 

[Mell]

If there is some existance beyond this life, than you are eventually going to have to face it. I would say the sooner the better (not meaning you should die, but face up to its implications and decide what to do about it)

How can one decide what to do about something if one does not know what the something is...

 

[tacomancer]

How can one decide what to do about something if one does not know what the something is...

I can tell you what I did if you don't mind me getting preachy.

 

[Mell]

I can tell you what I did if you don't mind me getting preachy.

No harm in telling it. A person can choose what to take on board.

 

[1069]

What if we come back here, to life, in a different body. Same spirit, just different body and no memory of last time we were here. That is a real scary thought for me. I dont want to have a childhood again, because it is just too vulnerable.

I've thought about reincarnation.
That would explain the deja vu feeling we sometimes get.
Maybe we've all been here before. :shrug:

 

[tacomancer]

No harm in telling it. A person can choose what to take on board.

Cool. I just think its better to ask, because doing these kinds of things in an unexpected manner can easily make people angry, which hinders the purpose of communicating and does nobody any good.

I used to be bothered by similar thoughts but than decided, well if there is an afterlife, than it is probably religious in nature. So I tried an experiment, I prayed to the unknown to reveal itself to me. I never got an immediate response, despite several attempts, and than after a couple of years, I tried one last time, in the middle of a depression, also in that one last attempt and that time with a focus on Jesus and Christianity, I asked for help, and two days later I met the lady who would become my wife (which got me out of the depression). Ever since than, I have tried to follow the path and I guess I do good enough since I always get inexplicible help when I am in serious trouble.

Given those experiences, I eventually became much less worried about the possibility of death since I see what I consider to be evidence of future goodness in life.