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Applying 4 Tendencies by Rubin

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Questioner, Rebel, Upholder and Obliger, 4 Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.

Search on You Tube and free videos come up.

It is helpful for problem solving, to know which attitude I have selected, or should try to change to. Also helpful to know my default attitude.

Other choices might be Commanding, Requesting and Complaining.

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May be helpful to apply with the AA 12 Step:


THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Copyright  1952, 1953, 1981 by Alcoholics Anonymous Publishing (now known as Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.) All rights reserved. The Twelve Steps are explained in the book, https://www.aa.org/the-big-book
 

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Topics for Google Searches for finding counseling questions to assist a client with getting a job:


Questions for Career Counselors.


Job Coach Questions.


Job Seeking Motivations


Rituals and Habits for seeking jobs.


Procrastination on seeking sales jobs.



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Narcotics Anonymous has a 13th step.


13 STEPS OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

1. Admit the use of narcotics made my life more tolerable, but the drug had become an undesireable power over my life.

2. Came to realize that to face life without drugs I must develop an inner strength.

3. Made a decision to face the suffering of withdrawal.

4. Learned to accept my fears without drugs.

5. Find someone who has progressed this far & is able to assist me.

6. Admit to him the nature & depth of my addiction.

7. Realize the seriousness of my shortcomings as I know them & accept responsibility for facing them.

8. Admit before a group of N.A. members these same shortcomings & explain how I am trying to overcome them.

9. List, for my own understanding, all the persons I have hurt.

10. Take a daily inventory of my actions & admi t to myself those which are contrary to good conscience.

11. Realize that to maintain freedom from drugs I must share with others the experience from which I have benifitted.

12. Determine a purpose in my life & try with all the spiritual & physical power within me to move towards this fulfillment.

13. GOD HELP ME ! ! !! !

Link:





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Request for derogatory comments by others, to be more positive.

You have good ideas, can you find a less critical wording to express your idea?

You seem to have come to a conclusion on this matter, is there any way you could consider my input?


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Does this involve a large sum of money, or is there some principle involved in your need for control?

Are there any terms, which can be negotiated in this matter?
 

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How does this measure against the amounts of money you spend from joint accounts?

What are the perks and privileges that can be conditioned on these concepts of control?

Is creating a criticizing atmosphere one of your bargaining points?

How can I add value to the equation with which you are unhappy?


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