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American Exceptionalism: My Response to Vladimir Putin

Wraith8

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Dear Mr. Putin,

First of all I would like to thank you for sharing your profound geo-political insights with the New York Times and the American people. As an America I for one believe that there is much we can learn from international leaders, particularly from an ex-KGB man such as yourself who is the president of a country whose own media (according to "Reporters Without Borders") currently ranks 148th out of 179 countries on the free press index.

Mr. Putin there seems to be two main kinds of overseas critics when it comes to the United States. First, there are good and decent people from abroad who have genuine concerns about America’s aggressive foreign policy and the intended and unintended consequences of how it affects other nations. However there also unfortunately seems to be a legion of angry far left overseas nimrods who just have an obsession with whining about the US on every single solitary issue because it helps them compensate for their own insecurities of living in second or third rate nations and perhaps because they themselves live miserable and lonely lives. In your own specific case Mr. Putin your vitriol may stem from the fact that many years ago you were forced to watch your beloved former Soviet Union crumble at America's feet and may therefore still be somewhat irate and vindictive towards the US. I want you to know that I completely sympathize with your tender feelings.

So Vlady (if I may call you that) rather than rub your face in American dominance I will instead try to put myself in the shoes of the second group that I mentioned above; the shoes of the angry American critic from abroad. I’m going to imagine living in one of any number of second, third or even fifth rate countries and all of my life I’ve had to live with the irrefutable fact that America is the dominating nation in the world and that my own country will likely never even come close to the same kind of success that America has enjoyed. As I already stated your nation the former Soviet Union was once a force to be reckoned with but your country ultimately collapsed economically thereby leaving America alone as undoubtedly the world’s leading superpower. I hope I'm not igniting your loins by repeatedly bringing up your Cold War defeat.

Adding to this, America controls almost one fourth of the total world economy which gives us great power, influence and leverage throughout the world in dealing with other nations; power and leverage which many other governments often willingly bend over to. On top of this America is a technological leader and a disproportional amount of the advances in science, medicine and computer technology emanate from the US as we have more Nobel prize winners by far than any other nation as well as seven of the top ten universities. America has the best space program in the world and recently our Voyager probe became the first manmade object to leave the solar system. America has the highest GDP of any nation by far (China being second and their GDP is only around half of what America’s is) and the state of California by itself almost matches the entire GDP of Russia. Furthermore the US often dominates in the Olympics and from what I understand the rest of the world is constantly being barraged with American movies and music which are quite popular in your nations.

Anyway Vlady, now that I’m walking in the shoes of the angry American critic from abroad I finally understand the backlash. NO WONDER you don't like to hear about "American exceptionalism" because deep down you know there is some truth to that term and given your history of conflict with the US it infuriates you. If I were in your place I too would want to lash out at the country that dominates me in so many ways. I too would be pretending that I care about Syrian civilians that might be killed by a US airstrike despite the fact that I myself have been arming Assad for years so that he could slaughter the people of Syria. I too would embrace a political ideology that endlessly vilifies America and constantly tries to define America solely by its faults and I too would then have the chutzpah to have a fit because an American president dared to say something positive about his country. And most importantly I too would be constantly trying to convince Americans how “ashamed” they should be of their country and how they should all bow at the “moral altar” of phony sanctimony and self-righteousness that I exude from my own nation.

Mr Putin my point here is I now understand your pulsating, throbbing fury and from this point on instead of being antagonistic towards the “helpful and informative” criticism that you have spewed at the US I will instead try to be more sympathetic. Rather than aggressively engage America’s critics I will instead provide a broad shoulder for you to cry on which will thereby allow you to vent all of your overseas woes. Anyway, I hope I've helped to bridge the gap that exists between our two superpowers...well one superpower I mean.

In closing I was wondering if I could impose upon you to send me a poster of yourself shirtless so that I can hang it on my wall. Please sign it "From Vlady with love...XOXO."

Sincerely

Me
 
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Rainman05

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Dear Mr. Putin,

In closing I was wondering if I could impose upon you to send me a poster of yourself shirtless so that I can hang it on my wall. Please sign it "From Vlady with love...XOXO."

Sincerely

Me

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