Advice wanted

[drz-400]

Ok, I feel like an idiot posting about this, but I need advice.

One of my buddies met up with some old friends from high school a while ago at the bar. We have gone out to the bars, maybe 4 or 5 times, and gone to a few house parties. One of the girls I have always kind of liked, though I don't really think she is all that attractive, if that makes sense. She is really funny and I think she is cool. I have had a great time going out with them and dancing with her at the bar. Keep in mind though either me or her, or both of us have been under the influence 3/4 the time we have hung out :lol:.

I don't know where to go from here. Should I ask her on a date or stay friends? I don't want to ruin a good thing, but I also don't want to be missing out either. What do you think?

Thanks.

 

[Jetboogieman]

I would say there's no harm in just going for it.

Whats the worst that can happen? She says no.

Oh well.

Stings a little I know.

But afterwards, you will still be alive, the world will continue to spin, and there will be many more battles.

If you like something, go for it, no regrets. Otherwise, continue wandering what ifs til the cows come home.

 

[drz-400]

I would say there's no harm in just going for it.

Whats the worst that can happen? She says no.

Oh well.

Stings a little I know.

But afterwards, you will still be alive, the world will continue to spin, and there will be many more battles.

If you like something, go for it, no regrets. Otherwise, continue wandering what ifs til the cows come home.

True, though I am not really worried about her saying no. I know that she likes me.

I just feel uncomfortable, every other girlfriend I have had I have been physically attracted to, but not so much the personality. This is the opposite. I would feel terrible I f'ed up our friendship because I asked her on a date and it doesn't work out.

 

[Jetboogieman]

True, though I am not really worried about her saying no. I know that she likes me.

I just feel uncomfortable, every other girlfriend I have had I have been physically attracted to, but not so much the personality. This is the opposite. I would feel terrible I f'ed up our friendship because I asked her on a date and it doesn't work out.

You're overthinking it dude.

A date can't nessecarily destroy your relationship forever.

Have you hung out with her alone before?

 

[drz-400]

You're overthinking it dude.

A date can't nessecarily destroy your relationship forever.

Have you hung out with her alone before?

No I haven't and you are right, I am over thinking it. Why else would I post this?:3oops:

I take that back, she gave me a ride home from the bar one night because I could not drive. :lol: That went fine.

 

[Jetboogieman]

No I haven't and you are right, I am over thinking it. Why else would I post this?:3oops:

Ok. Well then just ask her to go for a drink with you, have some wings and see how things go. Just relax, and be cool. If things go that way, they'll go that way.

 

[drz-400]

Ok. Well then just ask her to go for a drink with you, have some wings and see how things go. Just relax, and be cool. If things go that way, they'll go that way.

Alright, thanks for the advice.

 

[spud_meister]

If you're nervous, a bit of rohypnol could help with that. :mrgreen:

But seriously, Jet gave pretty good advice.

 

[nonpareil]

Ok, I feel like an idiot posting about this, but I need advice.

One of my buddies met up with some old friends from high school a while ago at the bar. We have gone out to the bars, maybe 4 or 5 times, and gone to a few house parties. One of the girls I have always kind of liked, though I don't really think she is all that attractive, if that makes sense. She is really funny and I think she is cool. I have had a great time going out with them and dancing with her at the bar. Keep in mind though either me or her, or both of us have been under the influence 3/4 the time we have hung out :lol:.

I don't know where to go from here. Should I ask her on a date or stay friends? I don't want to ruin a good thing, but I also don't want to be missing out either. What do you think?

Thanks.

Don't ask her out on a date-date yet. Find an excuse to ask her out on an outing that will give both of you time to hang out alone without the influence of alcohol. She might not be as funny as you thought without the alcohol. What is she good at? Maybe you can use that as an excuse. Maybe you need to buy an outfit or something, and you want her to help you pick them out and then you can take her to lunch or dinner as a thank you. It will probably be obvious to her that you don't really need her help, but at least you are not really asking her out and then rejecting her latter if it doesn't work out. That would be a pretty awkward thing to get over.

And this is from a girl so it might not apply to you, but looks is not all that important. After a while, people don't look at each other that closely anymore, even beautiful people. It's the personality that's important in a relationship. Don't be so hang up on the fact that you don't find her looks attractive now, as long as you like her as a person and can see yourself loving her as a partner in the future.

 

[TheGirlNextDoor]

Ok, I feel like an idiot posting about this, but I need advice.

One of my buddies met up with some old friends from high school a while ago at the bar. We have gone out to the bars, maybe 4 or 5 times, and gone to a few house parties. One of the girls I have always kind of liked, though I don't really think she is all that attractive, if that makes sense. She is really funny and I think she is cool. I have had a great time going out with them and dancing with her at the bar. Keep in mind though either me or her, or both of us have been under the influence 3/4 the time we have hung out :lol:.

I don't know where to go from here. Should I ask her on a date or stay friends? I don't want to ruin a good thing, but I also don't want to be missing out either. What do you think?

Thanks.

I think you should spend some time with her while you're both sober, and see if you feel the same way. If so, then sure. Ask her out.

 

[VanceMack]

Ok, I feel like an idiot posting about this, but I need advice.

One of my buddies met up with some old friends from high school a while ago at the bar. We have gone out to the bars, maybe 4 or 5 times, and gone to a few house parties. One of the girls I have always kind of liked, though I don't really think she is all that attractive, if that makes sense. She is really funny and I think she is cool. I have had a great time going out with them and dancing with her at the bar. Keep in mind though either me or her, or both of us have been under the influence 3/4 the time we have hung out :lol:.

I don't know where to go from here. Should I ask her on a date or stay friends? I don't want to ruin a good thing, but I also don't want to be missing out either. What do you think?

Thanks.

What is your intention? If you are looking for a ****buddy...abort. If you are looking to stay friends, keep it in the group. If you are looking for something potentially serious, ask her out and discuss your intentions...see where it goes. This stuff isnt rocket science...

 

[VanceMack]

I think you should spend some time with her while you're both sober, and see if you feel the same way. If so, then sure. Ask her out.

HEAVY emphasis on the 'sober' part...VERY good call!!!

 

[drz-400]

What is your intention? If you are looking for a ****buddy...abort. If you are looking to stay friends, keep it in the group. If you are looking for something potentially serious, ask her out and discuss your intentions...see where it goes. This stuff isnt rocket science...

I wouldn't have posted if I was looking for a **** buddy, but ya it ain't rocket science.

 

[VanceMack]

I wouldn't have posted if I was looking for a **** buddy, but ya it ain't rocket science.

Just trying to be clear of your intent.

Best advice of the night...S O B E R...repeat after TGND... S O B E R...

 

[drz-400]

Just trying to be clear of your intent.

Best advice of the night...S O B E R...repeat after TGND... S O B E R...

Ya, I know, its hard when we go to the bar though :lol:

I went to hang out w/ her and some friends the other night, and right when I walk in the door, my buddy, who I guess has something called a narrowing asophugus got some food stuck in it and we had to take him to the ER. ****!

Don't worry he is fine. So I did actually got to spend a few hours with her w/ my wits about me, even if it was in a hospital. But we are going to the bar tommorrow night...:mrgreen:

Alright, enough of my drama.

 

[VanceMack]

Ya, I know, its hard when we go to the bar though :lol:

I went to hang out w/ her and some friends the other night, and right when I walk in the door, my buddy, who I guess has something called a narrowing asophugus got some food stuck in it and we had to take him to the ER. ****!

Don't worry he is fine. So I did actually got to spend a few hours with her w/ my wits about me, even if it was in a hospital. But we are going to the bar tommorrow night...:mrgreen:

Alright, enough of my drama.

You guys are at least good enough friends to take him to the hospital. I spent several hours with the family of a teenager who ingested way too much of a variety of pharms...and when he turned blue his 'friends' took him outside and dumped him in the snow and returned to the basement to recommence au carnivale. (my french is rusty...what a wasted three years THAT was...)

 

[Jetboogieman]

I just wanna be clear about something. After my advice people kept saying that they should stay sober.

When I said they should go for a drink, I didn't mean belly tequila shots :2razz:

Maybe the idea you can have a meal with someone and 1 beer is an alien thing to you yanks, but it can work... :2razz:

 

[TheGirlNextDoor]

I just wanna be clear about something. After my advice people kept saying that they should stay sober.

When I said they should go for a drink, I didn't mean belly tequila shots :2razz:

Maybe the idea you can have a meal with someone and 1 beer is an alien thing to you yanks, but it can work... :2razz:

Personally, I was going off his original post where he states that most of the time he is with this girl, he is at the bar.

 

[Jetboogieman]

Personally, I was going off his original post where he states that most of the time he is with this girl, he is at the bar.

Well since I look rather silly at this moment.

Here's something equally as stupid.

 

[Khayembii Communique]

You have a couple of options.

The most obvious is just hooking up with her when you're drunk. If you two are into each other then that's the most likely, tho it sounds like for some reason you haven't pursued her at all.

The other option is getting her number and doing something with her sober, and finding out if she's as cool as your drunk ass self thought she was. Just get her number and invite her out to wherever you're going. Hell, if you're going grocery shopping invite her along, it doesn't matter what you actually do.

The final option would be to "ask her out" which would make you nervous because you'll have crazy "date" expectations and will probably end up blowing it.

I'd usually go with the first one, then the second one and never the third one. I'm a big opponent of "dates".

Also, if you're worried about messing up your friendship then just stop right there and don't go any further. You have to choose to either just keep her as a friend or to risk the friendship by being open about your intentions. If you don't choose one of these two then you're gonna get blown out regardless.

BTW, how old are you? You're apparently at least 21, so I don't see why this stuff isn't obvious to you by now.

 

[spud_meister]

Ya, I know, its hard when we go to the bar though :lol:

So that's why you're nervous. :mrgreen:

 

[drz-400]

I just wanna be clear about something. After my advice people kept saying that they should stay sober.

When I said they should go for a drink, I didn't mean belly tequila shots :2razz:

Maybe the idea you can have a meal with someone and 1 beer is an alien thing to you yanks, but it can work... :2razz:

I knew what you meant

 

[drz-400]

You have a couple of options.

The most obvious is just hooking up with her when you're drunk. If you two are into each other then that's the most likely, tho it sounds like for some reason you haven't pursued her at all.

The other option is getting her number and doing something with her sober, and finding out if she's as cool as your drunk ass self thought she was. Just get her number and invite her out to wherever you're going. Hell, if you're going grocery shopping invite her along, it doesn't matter what you actually do.

The final option would be to "ask her out" which would make you nervous because you'll have crazy "date" expectations and will probably end up blowing it.

I'd usually go with the first one, then the second one and never the third one. I'm a big opponent of "dates".

Also, if you're worried about messing up your friendship then just stop right there and don't go any further. You have to choose to either just keep her as a friend or to risk the friendship by being open about your intentions. If you don't choose one of these two then you're gonna get blown out regardless.

BTW, how old are you? You're apparently at least 21, so I don't see why this stuff isn't obvious to you by now.

Thanks for the rundown...

I am mostly wondering about experiences with girls that you really like their personality but you don't find exceptionally attractive. Do you have any experience of the sort ladies man? I know everyone will be different. Just to hear different experiences.

 

[drz-400]

Here, since I suck at communicating. This is an example of a response to what I am wondering about.

And this is from a girl so it might not apply to you, but looks is not all that important. After a while, people don't look at each other that closely anymore, even beautiful people. It's the personality that's important in a relationship. Don't be so hang up on the fact that you don't find her looks attractive now, as long as you like her as a person and can see yourself loving her as a partner in the future.

I think have left people with the wrong impression. I am not scared to talk to the girl, we have been friends for a while, and yes, believe it or not I have asked a few chicks out before.

 

[LuckyDan]

Here, since I suck at communicating. This is an example of a response to what I am wondering about.



I think have left people with the wrong impression. I am not scared to talk to the girl, we have been friends for a while, and yes, believe it or not I have asked a few chicks out before.

Your communicating just fine. Reading through this, it seems to me you have to decide which is more valuable to you: maintaining the friendship you've developed with her, or risking it for something more meaningful. Which do you want more?