A woman can cheat on you, tell you a child is yours when it's not and then keep you on the hook for 18 years even after you prove it's not your child.

[Bodi]

If a man thought it was his child because he was told it was by a woman that cheated on him and was impregnated by another man then that agreement should be invalid if the man that was deceived no longer wants to take care of the child. Nobody should be forced to pay for a child they were deceived into thinking was theirs.

Let us go with your argument that he should be allowed to bail on a kid that he accepted and loves...

...what happens to the kid?

... who pays for the child's needs and maintains that same standard of living that the kid was accustomed to?

 

[Novichok]

Let us go with your argument that he should be allowed to bail on a kid that he accepted and loves...

...what happens to the kid?

... who pays for the child's needs and maintains that same standard of living that the kid was accustomed to?

The naive suckers in New Zealand should.
Anyway, any man who does not demand a DNA test should see a psychiatrist. There is a treatment for this mental disorder.

 

[Fishking]

Men and women are both discriminated against in various situations. The problem is the issues men face do not get the attention they deserve while feminism is mainstream. Any effort to bring attention to discrimination against men is often seen as an attempt to undermine the issues women face. Society in general has very little empathy towards men. Our issues are not important to society and many people just roll their eyes at attempts to talk about the struggles of men.

They'll say feminism is for men too, but we know that's not true.

 

[dirtpoorchris]

Because it is about the child... not the mother.




If he has accepted the child as his why would he not want to continue being the child's dad?

Forcing a man to pay for a kid that is not his after DNA tests prove it is not his is a good way to open the door to murder.

 

[dex4974]

If he takes on that responsibility without verification then he maintains that responsibility. I do agree that should the actual bio father be found then it should be an automatic transfer of responsibility. But as a general rule, if you take on the responsibility it is yours.

Nah, it's wrong to punish a man for 18 years for not suspecting that his wife might have actually been cheating and got pregnant elsewhere. I am amazed that the victimization of the men in this situation gets so little recognition or care.

 

[dex4974]

Poor little incels. Angry men who treat women like crap can't handle anything that punctures their fragile man-boy egos.

How have women in general been denigrated or attacked in this post? In today's world many people see empathy given to men as an attack on women. That's not what it is though.

 

[dex4974]

...what happens to the kid?

... who pays for the child's needs and maintains that same standard of living that the kid was accustomed to?

I don't know. I guess mom will have to live with and be responsible for her bad and dishonest decisions. If she can't meet a certain standard of living for the child then the state can take it. An innocent person should not be financially punished for 18 years because he made the mistake of assuming his partner wasn't a cheater and a liar. Why is the victimization of men okay? Maybe random men should be selected to be forced to pay for these children. It would be just as fair.

 

[dex4974]

The naive suckers in New Zealand should.
Anyway, any man who does not demand a DNA test should see a psychiatrist. There is a treatment for this mental disorder.

If you're married that's still not good enough in some states.

 

[dex4974]

They'll say feminism is for men too, but we know that's not true.

Don't let the female posters here pollute your view of feminism. Many of the posters here are extremists, and many of the feminists on DP are no exception. Not all feminists see men as their enemies. Not all of them are ignorant and refuse to listen to anything that doesn't make women exclusively the victims of the world. Many feminists are very good and open-minded people that realize that men and women both have issues that deserve attention and care.

Positive and constructive feminism is good for men, and men would do well to listen to and support those feminists. It's easy to not notice the good ones because the bad ones are a lot louder and a lot more combative. They command the spotlight and do their entire movement a disservice by being a living FemNazi meme.



Check this lady out. She's amazing.

 

[maquiscat]

Nah, it's wrong to punish a man for 18 years for not suspecting that his wife might have actually been cheating and got pregnant elsewhere. I am amazed that the victimization of the men in this situation gets so little recognition or care.

The man and the woman are not the only one's in the picture here. Basically you are saying, "F the kid, who cares what this does to him." You are prepared to victimize the child for the man.

There are plenty of scams and other conditions where men do indeed get the raw end of the deal. But this is not one of them, especially since there is more than him to consider.

 

[dex4974]

The man and the woman are not the only one's in the picture here. Basically you are saying, "F the kid, who cares what this does to him." You are prepared to victimize the child for the man.

There are plenty of scams and other conditions where men do indeed get the raw end of the deal. But this is not one of them, especially since there is more than him to consider.

The man is not responsible for that child's victimization or not. The mother is to blame for creating an environment for the baby that was built on lies. Why not pick random men to be financially responsible for children that need fathers? It would make just as much sense and would be just as fair.

 

[roguenuke]

"It is unlikely that the court will remove you as the father unless there is another man it can name as the child’s father."

Could you explain to me what that means? And yes, it is difficult to prove fraud in a family court because mom can just say she didn't know. It's "dad's" responsibility to prove otherwise, which is hard.

And what about when the man knows the baby is not his? I've known at least one couple that knew the baby was someone elses when they got together and were even married prior to the birth. Should he be able to refuse to pay for a child support if they had a bad divorce for this child he knew about?

Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk

 

[dex4974]

And what about when the man knows the baby is not his? I've known at least one couple that knew the baby was someone elses when they got together and were even married prior to the birth. Should he be able to refuse to pay for a child support if they had a bad divorce for this child he knew about?

That's different. The man was not deceived in that situation.

 

[maquiscat]

The man is not responsible for that child's victimization or not. The mother is to blame for creating an environment for the baby that was built on lies. Why not pick random men to be financially responsible for children that need fathers? It would make just as much sense and would be just as fair.

There are plenty of situations where if a person does not do their due diligence, then they accept the responsibility of the situation. This is no difference. For example, if you buy a car from another person and you do not have it inspected, then you are responsible for any issues it has. If you accept the responsibility for the child, then short of the bio father showing up and being made known, you are responsible for it.

 

[dex4974]

There are plenty of situations where if a person does not do their due diligence, then they accept the responsibility of the situation. This is no difference. For example, if you buy a car from another person and you do not have it inspected, then you are responsible for any issues it has. If you accept the responsibility for the child, then short of the bio father showing up and being made known, you are responsible for it.

We are at an impasse. I'm not going to continue. Good talk.

 

[roguenuke]

It's about the balance though. Who gets screwed more? Who is multiple times more likely to win custody and be awarded money from the other parent? Who is more often the victim of unfair bias? The general abuse of men by family courts is well documented.

You are acting as if no mother pays for things for her children when she has custody.

My father had to pay ~$400/month in child support for 4 children when he divorced my mother, left her for another woman. Do you really think a woman with 4 children only pays $800 in bills, expenses, costs for those children per month? And after they turned 18, the state doesn't care about the tens of thousands owed in back support.

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[dex4974]

You are acting as if no mother pays for things for her children when she has custody.

I don't think I implied that at all.

 

[bluesmoke]

This is evil. You can be hooked for 18 years even after you prove she cheated and the child isn't yours. The particular case I'm showing here is just an example. It's the standard that is the issue. Men are being forced under threat of jail to pay for children that they were tricked into believing are theirs. If a man accepts a child as his under false pretenses the agreement should be invalid.

https://dadsdivorce.com/articles/as...t-yours-can-i-kick-my-spouse-out-of-my-house/

"Family courts are courts of equity and if the biological father is not produced, the courts may completely overlook your victimization because the court is focused on the best interest of the child. What is in the child’s best interest may be to continue to require you to support the child, even though you know you are not the biological father."

"In addition to proving that the mother committed fraud, it is important to also identify and locate the biological father. Even if you can prove you are not the biological father, the court may not change the judgment. It is unlikely that the court will remove you as the father unless there is another man it can name as the child’s father."

"You can be hooked" is the big "if" here. The man is alleging something he has shown no proof of in court where all details have yet to be declared to decide a case so conclusively as the OP suggest, which is a rare decision. Sound like a cry-baby OP.

 

[roguenuke]

I don't think I implied that at all.

Yes you pretty much did.

Parents, save up: It costs this much to raise a kid

An estimate released Monday is based on 2015 numbers, so a baby born this year is likely to cost even more

www.cbsnews.com

If the monthly cost of raising a child is just over $1000 a month, then those paying child support should be paying, dependent on many factors, around $500+ per child, per month on average.

How much is child support?

Use our free calculator and tools to find out how much is child support in each state in the US, and worldwide.

supportpay.com

The average appears to be lower than that at $450.

Mind you, this is all just numbers. We would have to look at situations. Who was the breadwinner in the family prior to divorce/separation? Who has more earning potential? Who actually is paying for more of the expenses? What lifestyle did the kids live before and is their current equivalent to roughly what each parent is living?



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[dex4974]

Yes you pretty much did.

No, I didn't, because that's not what I believe.

 

[southwest88]

Forcing a man to pay for a kid that is not his after DNA tests prove it is not his is a good way to open the door to murder.

Yah. You know, poor impulse control is probably how people wind up in these kind of situations. I sympathize, but if we're all free agents, we have to learn to make good decisions. The age of one-night stands seems to be over, casual sex may be over, the medical/infectious diseases environment makes casual relationships riskier than they have been in decades.

Is murder a way out of difficult situations? In some ways, I suppose it is. Is that an optimal way out? I don't think so. The state is very jealous of its exclusive control of legitimate violence. There are only a handful of allowed exceptions, & murder isn't one of them.

 

[OceanBlues1]

This is evil. You can be hooked for 18 years even after you prove she cheated and the child isn't yours. The particular case I'm showing here is just an example.

If it's really a standard case, I'm wondering why the man in the case didn't check paternity during the pregnancy. Isn't there a test for that?

 

[Bodi]

Forcing a man to pay for a kid that is not his after DNA tests prove it is not his is a good way to open the door to murder.

I assume that you think that the man will resort to murdering somebody? Because men are born psychopaths?

 

[Bodi]

I don't know. I guess mom will have to live with and be responsible for her bad and dishonest decisions. If she can't meet a certain standard of living for the child then the state can take it. An innocent person should not be financially punished for 18 years because he made the mistake of assuming his partner wasn't a cheater and a liar. Why is the victimization of men okay? Maybe random men should be selected to be forced to pay for these children. It would be just as fair.

Maybe she had multiple partners and thought it was his...
Maybe she thought that he would be the best father...
Maybe she was in love with him, that he loved her and that he was excited about being a dad...

There are a lot of ways to look at this... but some want to just assume that she is a lying bitch out to **** over the man...

 

[Bodi]

Yah. You know, poor impulse control is probably how people wind up in these kind of situations. I sympathize, but if we're all free agents, we have to learn to make good decisions. The age of one-night stands seems to be over, casual sex may be over, the medical/infectious diseases environment makes casual relationships riskier than they have been in decades.

Is murder a way out of difficult situations? In some ways, I suppose it is. Is that an optimal way out? I don't think so. The state is very jealous of its exclusive control of legitimate violence. There are only a handful of allowed exceptions, & murder isn't one of them.

Personally, I would find prison a worse situation to be in than being a dad to a kid that was not mine, but that I loved anyway.