MickB
Banned
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2007
- Messages
- 243
- Reaction score
- 14
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Very Conservative
They don't fail as much as we do! with Johnathan Leftwinger
We love computers in Labour. We want computers to teach our children (they even take the register now!!), to do our jobs (ie - yours), to know everything about you, to keep an eye on you and to run your lives and to punish you accordingly.
Computers have revolutionised learning. Calculating machines in class and Text phones in exams? Speaks for itself mate! No wonder A Level and degree passes are better than ever before. LABOUR HAVE CREATED MILLIONS OF ADDITIONAL HIGHLY QUALIFIED YOUNG PEOPLE SINCE 1997! SO DON'T YOU DARE BE UNGRATEFUL AT THE POLLS!
In fact, we wish we were computers here in Labour. Their success rate's greater than ours, they get everything right (just like us) and when when things do go wrong it's never their fault even though they get the blame. Again, we in Labour know what that's like.
Ah yes mate, biometric eye scans and computer compatible ID cards are the future mate. There have been whinges aplenty, particularly when the miserly public discover that they have to pay for it, but how else are we supposed to recognise them?
And this isn't a fad, I myself wanted this for years. In 1965 I gave a speech in which I said that people should be kept an eye on, be always brainwashed, regulated and punished until they do things the way we 'trendy' Lefties wanted and always have ID on their persons. And I've always maintained that Patrick McGoohan stole my ideas and turned them into a hit TV show, which just proves New Labour's system works, but I never got paid. People are just too selfish.
Look, you've got to be People Managers in Labour. For God's Sake, the unruly public need a corrective, and with us and the EU in charge, they're damn well getting one! So make allowances for the whingeing, nobody likes getting punished.
I'm straying from the point now. We even want E-Voting. Alright, pleb shows like Pop Stars (or whatever those ghastly things are called) constantly experience voting c0ck-ups, but that always used to happen with the old fashioned paper votes. I mean, for a party of racist, sexist, homophobic mysoginyst bigots, the Tories have won far too many elections for my liking. And with computers taking the votes we'll see who REALLY wins mate!
Listen, you have spell checkers, so why not vote checkers? Fair, quick and beyond doubt mate, that's computers. And it'll save Labour lots of time because we'd no longer have to correct votes by hand. Everybody wins.
So next time you dig out your old BBCs, Spectrums or Commodore 64s from the loft to re-live old times, JUST THINK FROM WHAT TINY ACORNS GOOD AIDS TO SOLID, DEPENDABLE AND UNBIASED LEFT WING ADMINISTRATIONS GROW!
VOTE LABOUR! PRESS PLAY ON TAPE MATE! I love it!
We love computers in Labour. We want computers to teach our children (they even take the register now!!), to do our jobs (ie - yours), to know everything about you, to keep an eye on you and to run your lives and to punish you accordingly.
Computers have revolutionised learning. Calculating machines in class and Text phones in exams? Speaks for itself mate! No wonder A Level and degree passes are better than ever before. LABOUR HAVE CREATED MILLIONS OF ADDITIONAL HIGHLY QUALIFIED YOUNG PEOPLE SINCE 1997! SO DON'T YOU DARE BE UNGRATEFUL AT THE POLLS!
In fact, we wish we were computers here in Labour. Their success rate's greater than ours, they get everything right (just like us) and when when things do go wrong it's never their fault even though they get the blame. Again, we in Labour know what that's like.
Ah yes mate, biometric eye scans and computer compatible ID cards are the future mate. There have been whinges aplenty, particularly when the miserly public discover that they have to pay for it, but how else are we supposed to recognise them?
And this isn't a fad, I myself wanted this for years. In 1965 I gave a speech in which I said that people should be kept an eye on, be always brainwashed, regulated and punished until they do things the way we 'trendy' Lefties wanted and always have ID on their persons. And I've always maintained that Patrick McGoohan stole my ideas and turned them into a hit TV show, which just proves New Labour's system works, but I never got paid. People are just too selfish.
Look, you've got to be People Managers in Labour. For God's Sake, the unruly public need a corrective, and with us and the EU in charge, they're damn well getting one! So make allowances for the whingeing, nobody likes getting punished.
I'm straying from the point now. We even want E-Voting. Alright, pleb shows like Pop Stars (or whatever those ghastly things are called) constantly experience voting c0ck-ups, but that always used to happen with the old fashioned paper votes. I mean, for a party of racist, sexist, homophobic mysoginyst bigots, the Tories have won far too many elections for my liking. And with computers taking the votes we'll see who REALLY wins mate!
Listen, you have spell checkers, so why not vote checkers? Fair, quick and beyond doubt mate, that's computers. And it'll save Labour lots of time because we'd no longer have to correct votes by hand. Everybody wins.
So next time you dig out your old BBCs, Spectrums or Commodore 64s from the loft to re-live old times, JUST THINK FROM WHAT TINY ACORNS GOOD AIDS TO SOLID, DEPENDABLE AND UNBIASED LEFT WING ADMINISTRATIONS GROW!
VOTE LABOUR! PRESS PLAY ON TAPE MATE! I love it!
