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A Modest Proposal (1 Viewer)


Jan 20, 2006
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A great deal of newsprint and television air time has been spent on the issue of
what to do with the American/Mexican Border. The far left wants to open the border
completely and allow a flood of Mexicans to cross unimpeded into California lettuce
fields. The far right wants to station the 4th ID on the North Bank of the Rio
Grande with the rule of engagement being: "If it moves, light it up!" Both sides are
equally wrong. I offer the following Modest Proposal.

The fault lies not with the Mexicans crossing the border nor with the Border Patrol
catching a few illegals and letting a great many more make their way to Los Angeles
Schools and Phoenix Hospital Delivery Rooms. The fault lies with the INS policy of
repariating Mexicans that are captured by the Border Patrol and not hunting down the
majority who escape into the interior. In either case, repatriation or escape, the
INS is directly and solely responsible for wasting a perfectly good labor force that
could be put to a greatly productive use. Estimates of Mexicans currently living
illegally in the United States range as high as 9 Million. An estimated 1.5 Million
cross the border illegally each year. Border patrol claims to capture and repatriate
a quarter of a million a year. By my math we have a potential labor force of 10 3/4
million for fiscal 2006 available for work.

Now, here's my plan. We set the 10 3/4 million Mexicans currently available to work
digging a one mile wide, 2500 foot deep trench between the Gulf of Mexico and the
Pacific on our side of the border. For my Dummycrat friends, that's 5.375 million
pickin' and 5.375 million shovelin'. That's a greater work force than the Chineese
had building the Great Wall and we also have the advantage of case hardened steel
picks and shovels. We know from history the job can get done. I calculate that one
Mexican can move two cubic feet of dirt every hour, and if that's correct, we should
have the trench completed on March 4th, 2056. Once we punch through the last few
feet of soil on both the Gulf and Pacific sides, the trench will fill with water and
we have --A CANAL! Yep the TexMex Canal will trim better than 4,000 miles off the
Panama Canal Route. Canal Fees will be fixed at 0.5% of the wholesale value of the
cargo on board which should generate slightly in excess of 1.2 trillion dollars a
year in income or 600 times the Mexican economy exclusive of dope sales. We split
even Steven with the Mexicans but we don't give the money to Vicente Fox. Nope, we
give the dough directly to the Mexican people. And how do we do this? We just have
Social Security mail each and every one of them a check. After all, when you want to
give money away with no regard for where or who it came from go straight to the
experts at Social Security. Each Mexican will be required to show up at a Border
Patrol Station on the Mexican Side of the Canal to register for his or her check and
the only requirement to register is that you have a Mexican mailing address. In
other words, we pay them to stay home. I borrowed this concept from AFDC. Who says
Thugs can't be flexible?

In order to round up our 9 million illegals we need to offer a bounty of $5000 per
illegal delivered to the job site. The bounty money is already funded. It's sitting
in the Farm Subsidy Bill passed in 2005 by Congress. Even agribusiness can figure
out it's more profitable to get $362.27 a pound for a farm worker than 79 cents for
a head of lettuce. Caesar Chavez and his Farm Worker's Union will no doubt have some
objections based on "worker dislocation" and the corresponding need for worker
re-training. He has a point. Therefore, each illegal should be given a 90 day
training seminar in the Phoenix Tent Jail, wearing a pink jump suit. That should
take care of it.

I expect some objections to be raised by Californians who will see lettuce prices
rise to $48 a head and drive the price of an avacado up to $112 each. To meet this
objection we need only point out how good San Franciscans feel about paying $165,000
for a condo overlooking the Bay for a Street Person to inhabit while downing his
quart of Ripple purchased by City Funds and they'll wholeheartedly support our new
effort to make them feel good about themselves.

Congress will be more than willing to pass enabling legislation when we offer to
call it the FDRTMC (Franklin Delano Roosevelt TexMex Canal) and point out that the
Canal is merely a 21st Century WPA Program. Our slogan is: "If it's good enough for
Americans it's more than good enough for Mexicans." The slogan ensures the support
of the Neo Nazi's in Skokie.

To raise additional revenue for the project we'll have Willie Nelson give monthly
Canal Aid Concets in Austin and BS give nightly "Evening With Barbara" political
lectures at NYU. We'll build four "Viewing Resort Hotels" overlooking the Big Dig to
allow Tom Cruise and Nick Nolte to come and luxuriate while seeing for themselves
the wonderful things we're doing for the poor and downtroden. Hollywood will love

After we've pumped 0.6 Trillion annually into the Mexican Economy all we have to do
is stand back and watch the Mexican economy grow exponentially. In short we will
have created a new customer for American Industry. We can let them buy some of the
Fords, Chevys, and washing machines we're currently letting them assemble for us.
The 10 3/4 million trained canal builders can get busy building canals to irrigate
the Mexican arid interior where an abundance of lettuce and avacados can be grown --
and sold to Californians.

As you can see, my friends, I've come up with the perfect plan to cure our Southern
Border Problem. I've carefully worked out every detail, except one: What to do when
the Mexicans build a fence on their side of the Canal to keep American Dummycrats
out of Mexico. The ingrates!

A Conservative Thug Looks At the world- Butch
Erect an electric fence of 20 feet high and the length of the border! Walah
no more illegals:lol:
Where do I put my bid in to be the exclusive provider of shovels, picks and wheelbarrels?

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