A Letter of Apology to the Company "Four Seasons Total Landscaping"

[digitusmedius]

Dear SIrs/Madams,
Your company has been unfairly ridiculed for its unfortunate association with the Dirtbag Administration, in particular with one Rudy Giuliani. No doubt you had no idea what you were getting into and how surprised you must have been when Mr. Giuliani chose your business front to hold an important press conference. Also doubtless you had no warning the gathering would include a convicted child pornographer. Since that day your company's name has become associated with the massive bungling and idiocy by Giuliani and everyone else in the Dirtbag administration. I confess that I have been one of the many to ridicule him and, Indirectly, your company. When it was learned that Giuliani was to become the lead counsel for Dirtbag's attempts to steal the election through the courts I and others enjoyed referred to that effort as the "Four Seasons of Total Lawyering," meaning yet another clown show by him and his client. We had no idea of how short of the mark that ridicule would be. Giuliani showed up in a Pennsylvania courtroom yesterday and did he ever make a splash. Let me just highlight some of the "bright" points he made starting right out of the gate:

He mistook the judge for a federal judge in a separate Pennsylvania district who rejected a separate Trump campaign case: “I was accused of not reading your opinion and that I did not understand it.”
And he tripped himself up over the meaning of “opacity.”
“In the plaintiffs’ counties, they were denied the opportunity to have an unobstructed observation and ensure opacity,” Giuliani said. “I’m not quite sure I know what opacity means. It probably means you can see, right?”
“It means you can’t,” said U.S. District Judge Matthew Brann.
“Big words, your honor,” Giuliani said.¹

He then launched into a blithering attempt to claim that the election was tainted by a massive conspiracy to defraud by big cities all over the country to either count votes that weren't there or not count votes that were or several permutations and combinations thereof. That led to the judge asking him if he was bringing a new charge of fraud to the court. And here's Giuliani's response:

"No, your honor, we are not" alleging fraud," Giuliani said, after Brann reminded him a newer version of the Trump campaign's lawsuit cut back those claims. It's a "fraudulent process," Giuliani continued.
"So you are alleging a fraud," the judge responded, noting that would require a higher standard than suspicion to bring a case.²

Rudy sure had that judge on his heels, didn't he? But he wasn't finished by a long shot:

He also appeared to confuse legal terminology at times, or answer the judge's questions about specific case law with colloquialism. When asked what type of scrutiny the judge should apply in the case -- a type of question that has specific legal terms for possible answers -- Giuliani answered: the "normal" kind. When the judge then asked about "rational basis scrutiny," a specific legal term for weighing constitutional cases, Giuliani responded by calling the vote processing situation in the state not rational.²

In conclusion, it was totally wrong to characterize Rudy's performance by associating it with your company's name. The far better term for it would be "The Three Stooges Total Lawyering" with Rudy playing the parts of Larry, Moe and Curly simultaneously by repeatedly slapping himself on his head, poking himself in the eye and yelling "woopwoopwooop." Best wishes in recovering your damaged reputation.

1. https://www.washingtonpost.com/poli...b52b42-2964-11eb-9c21-3cc501d0981f_story.html
2. https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/17/politics/trump-giuliani-election-lawsuit/index.html

 

[Chomsky]

Trump is desperate as hell to have to resort to using Rudy in a court room.