Glen Contrarian
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2013
- Messages
- 17,688
- Reaction score
- 8,046
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Progressive
[Overheard somewhere Down South, or perhaps even Texas]
Student: "I need money for college - the other places I spoke charge way too much for loans."
Lender: "Okay, I think I can help you out. Look here - our rates are lower than any of the others, and if you have problems with paying back your loans after you graduate, well, we can work with you on that."
Student: "Well, that's really great!"
Lender: "But that's not all. If you qualify for Stafford loans, you accrue no interest while you're still in school. Also, if you choose a public service career such as teaching, you can have your loans discounted or forgiven."
Student: "Wait a minute - I never heard any of this from the other lenders!"
Lender: "But it's completely true - that's the way we work. Oh, and one more thing - if you work in an exceptionally low-paying profession, you can have your loan forgiven after 25 years."
Student: "You've got lower rates, you'll work with me if I have financial difficulty, and if I do something I love like teaching, you'll discount or even forgive my student loans - this is wonderful! Why would I even consider applying for loans through those other people!"
Lender: "Well, that's what we in the U.S. Department of Education are able to do for you, to make sure that you get a good education and you're not saddled with a mountain of debt when you graduate like you would with private lenders."
Student: "Wait...you're the government! The federal government! And you're offering me a student loan! That's SOCIALISM! TYRANNY!" [dials furiously on his cell phone] "Hello? Wells Fargo? I'll gladly sign up for that student loan with you - I'll gladly pay twice the price for a loan that can't ever be discounted or forgiven even if I work as a low-paid teacher or declare bankruptcy!" [turns back to the DOE lender] "I'm SO glad Ron Paul and Fox News warned me about you! You're EVIL!" [crosses himself to ward off the evil eye as he stumbles wildly out of the office]
Student: "I need money for college - the other places I spoke charge way too much for loans."
Lender: "Okay, I think I can help you out. Look here - our rates are lower than any of the others, and if you have problems with paying back your loans after you graduate, well, we can work with you on that."
Student: "Well, that's really great!"
Lender: "But that's not all. If you qualify for Stafford loans, you accrue no interest while you're still in school. Also, if you choose a public service career such as teaching, you can have your loans discounted or forgiven."
Student: "Wait a minute - I never heard any of this from the other lenders!"
Lender: "But it's completely true - that's the way we work. Oh, and one more thing - if you work in an exceptionally low-paying profession, you can have your loan forgiven after 25 years."
Student: "You've got lower rates, you'll work with me if I have financial difficulty, and if I do something I love like teaching, you'll discount or even forgive my student loans - this is wonderful! Why would I even consider applying for loans through those other people!"
Lender: "Well, that's what we in the U.S. Department of Education are able to do for you, to make sure that you get a good education and you're not saddled with a mountain of debt when you graduate like you would with private lenders."
Student: "Wait...you're the government! The federal government! And you're offering me a student loan! That's SOCIALISM! TYRANNY!" [dials furiously on his cell phone] "Hello? Wells Fargo? I'll gladly sign up for that student loan with you - I'll gladly pay twice the price for a loan that can't ever be discounted or forgiven even if I work as a low-paid teacher or declare bankruptcy!" [turns back to the DOE lender] "I'm SO glad Ron Paul and Fox News warned me about you! You're EVIL!" [crosses himself to ward off the evil eye as he stumbles wildly out of the office]