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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Apply for a Student Loan

Glen Contrarian

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[Overheard somewhere Down South, or perhaps even Texas]

Student: "I need money for college - the other places I spoke charge way too much for loans."

Lender: "Okay, I think I can help you out. Look here - our rates are lower than any of the others, and if you have problems with paying back your loans after you graduate, well, we can work with you on that."

Student: "Well, that's really great!"

Lender: "But that's not all. If you qualify for Stafford loans, you accrue no interest while you're still in school. Also, if you choose a public service career such as teaching, you can have your loans discounted or forgiven."

Student: "Wait a minute - I never heard any of this from the other lenders!"

Lender: "But it's completely true - that's the way we work. Oh, and one more thing - if you work in an exceptionally low-paying profession, you can have your loan forgiven after 25 years."

Student: "You've got lower rates, you'll work with me if I have financial difficulty, and if I do something I love like teaching, you'll discount or even forgive my student loans - this is wonderful! Why would I even consider applying for loans through those other people!"

Lender: "Well, that's what we in the U.S. Department of Education are able to do for you, to make sure that you get a good education and you're not saddled with a mountain of debt when you graduate like you would with private lenders."

Student: "Wait...you're the government! The federal government! And you're offering me a student loan! That's SOCIALISM! TYRANNY!" [dials furiously on his cell phone] "Hello? Wells Fargo? I'll gladly sign up for that student loan with you - I'll gladly pay twice the price for a loan that can't ever be discounted or forgiven even if I work as a low-paid teacher or declare bankruptcy!" [turns back to the DOE lender] "I'm SO glad Ron Paul and Fox News warned me about you! You're EVIL!" [crosses himself to ward off the evil eye as he stumbles wildly out of the office]
 

paddymcdougall

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Thanks, Glen Contrarian - good one.

Why is it we'll bail out the big banks but we won't give our students a low interest rate to help them succeed? They succeed, our country succeeds. Seems reasonable.
 

head of joaquin

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Thanks, Glen Contrarian - good one.

Why is it we'll bail out the big banks but we won't give our students a low interest rate to help them succeed? They succeed, our country succeeds. Seems reasonable.

Because the Tea Party Occupation Forces in the House doesn't like students or working people or women or minorities, or anybody really, but rich people.
 

CalGun

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Academia-Media-Govermnet here to take from the working rich people and give to those who won't bother.
 

Neomalthusian

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[Overheard somewhere Down South, or perhaps even Texas]

Student: "I need money for college - the other places I spoke charge way too much for loans."

Lender: "Okay, I think I can help you out. Look here - our rates are lower than any of the others, and if you have problems with paying back your loans after you graduate, well, we can work with you on that."

Student: "Well, that's really great!"

Lender: "But that's not all. If you qualify for Stafford loans, you accrue no interest while you're still in school. Also, if you choose a public service career such as teaching, you can have your loans discounted or forgiven."

Student: "Wait a minute - I never heard any of this from the other lenders!"

Lender: "But it's completely true - that's the way we work. Oh, and one more thing - if you work in an exceptionally low-paying profession, you can have your loan forgiven after 25 years."

Student: "You've got lower rates, you'll work with me if I have financial difficulty, and if I do something I love like teaching, you'll discount or even forgive my student loans - this is wonderful! Why would I even consider applying for loans through those other people!"

Lender: "Well, that's what we in the U.S. Department of Education are able to do for you...

This is where I REALLY cracked up reading your skit.

If you go into debt (essentially to me) to pursue a career (essentially working for me), and you do that job accepting my crappy salary for your entire working life, I'll forgive you of the debt you owe (essentially to me). What's $50,000 in student loans divided by 25 years? This wonderful deal is $2,000/yr. in additional pay IF you happen to last that long. Oh, thank you, Department of Education!!!

Sounds like an infomercial.
 

Lord of Planar

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Let the government indoctrination begin...
 

Henrin

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How dare the US Govt deprive a poor starving bank of unearned income

Unearned income? So doing business with a mutual party and providing them a service is not earned income?

How did the government earn their revenue to provide these loans? Oh right, they took from people without their consent. Interesting...

So who exactly is the party here that didn't earn something? Hmm..
 

Henrin

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If liberals didn't have wealth distribution as part of their platform they would almost have nothing to say.
 
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digsbe

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As someone borrowing a high amount of student loans for grad school it's not that forgiving.

Federal loans follow you. They don't get erased with bankruptcy, they will garnish your wages, they will take money from your tax return, they charge you a high interest rate (6.8 and 7.9) that begins building immediately, and if you do the 20-25 year plan where debt is forgiven they write the forgiven debt as income and put that on your taxes. They make a killing of grad students who have to pay 40k+ per year for school from loans at a higher rate.
 

CalGun

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Thats amazing, and here I am under 50 debt free, and my wife has a PHD and myself a JD degree and never once did we borrow for them? Shocking.


As someone borrowing a high amount of student loans for grad school it's not that forgiving.

Federal loans follow you. They don't get erased with bankruptcy, they will garnish your wages, they will take money from your tax return, they charge you a high interest rate (6.8 and 7.9) that begins building immediately, and if you do the 20-25 year plan where debt is forgiven they write the forgiven debt as income and put that on your taxes. They make a killing of grad students who have to pay 40k+ per year for school from loans at a higher rate.
 

sangha

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How did the government earn their revenue to provide these loans? Oh right, they took from people without their consent. Interesting...

LOL!

Once again you demonstrate your ignorance

Banks don't lend their own money to students. They lend govt money to students
 

Henrin

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LOL!

Once again you demonstrate your ignorance

Banks don't lend their own money to students. They lend govt money to students

And? That is not something the bank has control of and has nothing to do with my argument.
 

Henrin

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You think the bank is forced to give loans to students? :lamo

Did I say they were? You realize you used government policy and used that against banks, right?
 

tererun

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Academia-Media-Govermnet here to take from the working rich people and give to those who won't bother.

Rich people working? Oh man, that was a good one. When was the last time you saw papa john making a pizza, or the Walton family stocking shelves at Walmart?
 

blaxshep

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Rich people working? Oh man, that was a good one. When was the last time you saw papa john making a pizza, or the Walton family stocking shelves at Walmart?

The amount of work done has nothing to do with compensation, if it did roofers and ditch diggers would be millionaires and CEOs and investors would be on welfare.
 

tererun

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The amount of work done has nothing to do with compensation, if it did roofers and ditch diggers would be millionaires and CEOs and investors would be on welfare.

Oh, so you think people who do a lot of nothing deserve much more compensation than those who do actual work. I guess if that is your point of view then so be it.
 

blaxshep

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Oh, so you think people who do a lot of nothing deserve much more compensation than those who do actual work. I guess if that is your point of view then so be it.

Read it again I am agreeing with you.
 

tererun

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Read it again I am agreeing with you.

I was going a step further in saying we should change that, but I figured being a libertarian you probably would not be up for the type of restrictions on business that would require given the nature of capitalism to go towards a system of extreme wealth and poverty where the wealthy are those on top who do not have to work and the poor are required to do all the work for little compensation.
 

Gonzo Rodeo

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Stafford loans are capped at $4,500 per year.
 

blaxshep

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I was going a step further in saying we should change that, but I figured being a libertarian you probably would not be up for the type of restrictions on business that would require given the nature of capitalism to go towards a system of extreme wealth and poverty where the wealthy are those on top who do not have to work and the poor are required to do all the work for little compensation.

I am a libertarian from a strict constitutionalists point of view. I am all for the free market but I have a pretty dim view of Capitalism. If it were up to me there would be a living wage minimum and a wealth cap at 15X the minimum.
 

froggigger

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I am a libertarian from a strict constitutionalists point of view. I am all for the free market but I have a pretty dim view of Capitalism. If it were up to me there would be a living wage minimum and a wealth cap at 15X the minimum.

If you believe in wealth caps and wage minimums, you are not a free marketeer. Besides, capitalism and the free market are one and the same.
 

Mr.Nick

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[Overheard somewhere Down South, or perhaps even Texas]

Student: "I need money for college - the other places I spoke charge way too much for loans."

Lender: "Okay, I think I can help you out. Look here - our rates are lower than any of the others, and if you have problems with paying back your loans after you graduate, well, we can work with you on that."

Student: "Well, that's really great!"

Lender: "But that's not all. If you qualify for Stafford loans, you accrue no interest while you're still in school. Also, if you choose a public service career such as teaching, you can have your loans discounted or forgiven."

Student: "Wait a minute - I never heard any of this from the other lenders!"

Lender: "But it's completely true - that's the way we work. Oh, and one more thing - if you work in an exceptionally low-paying profession, you can have your loan forgiven after 25 years."

Student: "You've got lower rates, you'll work with me if I have financial difficulty, and if I do something I love like teaching, you'll discount or even forgive my student loans - this is wonderful! Why would I even consider applying for loans through those other people!"

Lender: "Well, that's what we in the U.S. Department of Education are able to do for you, to make sure that you get a good education and you're not saddled with a mountain of debt when you graduate like you would with private lenders."

Student: "Wait...you're the government! The federal government! And you're offering me a student loan! That's SOCIALISM! TYRANNY!" [dials furiously on his cell phone] "Hello? Wells Fargo? I'll gladly sign up for that student loan with you - I'll gladly pay twice the price for a loan that can't ever be discounted or forgiven even if I work as a low-paid teacher or declare bankruptcy!" [turns back to the DOE lender] "I'm SO glad Ron Paul and Fox News warned me about you! You're EVIL!" [crosses himself to ward off the evil eye as he stumbles wildly out of the office]

It is socialism if the lender is willing to forgive a loan if that individual goes into the public sector.......
 
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