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16yr old Gay teen, sent to Heterosexual boot camp!

JustineCredible

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Zack, a sixteen year old Tennessee boy was sent by his parents to a heterosexual boot camp called: "Love in Action."

This group is just another attempt to use religiously motivated hate in order to force teens to behave as though they are straight.
Blog Of A 16 Year Old Sent To "Love In Action" Live-In Program Against His Will
A 16 year old named Zach in Bartlett, Tennessee recently came out to his parents who reacted by announcing they are sending him to an ex-gay live-in program called Love In Action, the same cult like program Peterson Toscano survived. How do we know all this? Zach has been writing about it on his blog found here on MySpace.com. To view Zach's main profile click here.

On his blog Zach posts program rules given to parents that aren't supposed to be seen by patients. There are of course several comical rules forbidding any clothing from Abercrombie and Fitch and dining at places like TGI Fridays (because there is a bar attached to the restaurant). Program rules of genuine concern to me is a clear double standard when it came to encouraging honesty, self-examination and reflection in patients. Several selected rules read:

Be honest, authentic, and real.

Absolutely no journaling or keeping a diary outside of the MI* process unless directed or approved by staff.

No discussing therapeutic issues at home. Keep conversations positive.

*[Moral Inventories, where one must keep records of sexual struggles and temptations.]
This troubles me. A participant is to be honest, authentic and real but... family visits are to be glossed over and superficial? Many people use journaling as a method of self reflection and thought. However it appears journals can only to be used to keep a "moral inventory" of sexual temptations. For a program that pretends to stress honesty and authenticity they sure discourage independent thought and discussion both with one's self and family. Frankly don't see how this kind of suppression of genuinely productive thought can lead to positive healing no matter what your goal.

This an many other articles relating to this situation can be found at:

http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/index.html
 

shuamort

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John Smid said:
I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle. In a physical death you could still have a spiritual resurrection; whereas, returning to homosexuality you are yielding yourself to a spiritual death from which there is no recovery.
Sounds like love to me!


If you get a chance, check out the movie "Saved!" with Mandy Moore and Macauley Culkin. It deals in part with places like this.
 

JustineCredible

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shuamort said:
Sounds like love to me!


If you get a chance, check out the movie "Saved!" with Mandy Moore and Macauley Culkin. It deals in part with places like this.
I'll try to find it, maybe search my Blockbuster Online listings for it.

It's just sick how these groups as well as other "conversion therapy" groups continue at all. They have been shown over and over to have a HUGE failure rate of nearly 99%. The APA has actually submitted a public warning about these groups and the very real danger they pose.
 

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JustineCredible said:
Zack, a sixteen year old Tennessee boy was sent by his parents to a heterosexual boot camp called: "Love in Action."
If my kid thought he was gay, after looking further into it - this might be an option. Sorry, don't buy the genetics thing. Hate is such a strong word. I don't "HATE" anyone, yet I am sure that many reading this would think otherwise. I just disagree with the lifestyle.
 

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vauge said:
If my kid thought he was gay, after looking further into it - this might be an option. Sorry, don't buy the genetics thing. Hate is such a strong word. I don't "HATE" anyone, yet I am sure that many reading this would think otherwise. I just disagree with the lifestyle.
You'd send your child to a place where the person running it says that your child would be better off killing themselves than living as a homosexual?
 

Schweddy

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I did say I would have to look further into it before committing to anything.
Who is to say that this statement is not BS? The media will do anything for a rise or to make something that is not a story - become one.

If however I found that to be true - I would pursue other avenues to help my child with his issue.
 

JustineCredible

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vauge said:
I did say I would have to look further into it before committing to anything.
Who is to say that this statement is not BS? The media will do anything for a rise or to make something that is not a story - become one.

If however I found that to be true - I would pursue other avenues to help my child with his issue.

Why would you even want to "look further", is unconditional love of your own flesh and blood a concept that is beyond you?

A child goes to their parent and says "I feel I might be gay." Is this cause for alarm? No, I really don't think so. Is it cause for a compassionate talk about sex and sexuality? Sure, it's an open door. But to ship your kid off to some brainwashing camp because YOU can't deal with your child's sexuality isn't a problem with the child...it's a problem with YOU...the parent.
 

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JustineCredible said:
Why would you even want to "look further", is unconditional love of your own flesh and blood a concept that is beyond you?

A child goes to their parent and says "I feel I might be gay." Is this cause for alarm? No, I really don't think so. Is it cause for a compassionate talk about sex and sexuality? Sure, it's an open door. But to ship your kid off to some brainwashing camp because YOU can't deal with your child's sexuality isn't a problem with the child...it's a problem with YOU...the parent.
Fine argument. But if my kid did come up to me with those words it is indeed a cause for alarm and a compassionate talk. Hopefully by that point we have already had an open discussion about sex.

There are camps for may issues with youngsters. Fat camp, attitude camp, etc... just because a parent decides to send them to one of these does not mean the parent was incapable or lazy. Sometimes, we all know, the atmosphere of being around the type of people that we are can help us to overcome great obstacles. Alcoholics anonymous comes to mind as well. Equally, there are camps for single moms and parents that have homosexual kids.
 

JustineCredible

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vauge said:
Fine argument. But if my kid did come up to me with those words it is indeed a cause for alarm and a compassionate talk. Hopefully by that point we have already had an open discussion about sex.

There are camps for may issues with youngsters. Fat camp, attitude camp, etc... just because a parent decides to send them to one of these does not mean the parent was incapable or lazy. Sometimes, we all know, the atmosphere of being around the type of people that we are can help us to overcome great obstacles. Alcoholics anonymous comes to mind as well. Equally, there are camps for single moms and parents that have homosexual kids.
AA isn't a camp darlin. It's a VOLUTARY group.

My son came to me at the age of nine and did ask me; "Mom, because you're gay, does that mean I am?" My answer was loving, compassionate and truthful. I told him that only he could answer that, and he would know in time. Just because I'm gay does NOT mean he would be or that he would not be. But I did also let him know that no matter what I would always love him, I would always support him and would always be there to answer his questions.
If my son was to come to me and say "Mom, I know we talked about this already, and at that age I simply wasn't sure, but I now think I'm gay." I would still love him. I would ask him some very tough questions, but I would not send him away or force him to change because I can't deal with it.
Unlike obesity, it won't make him susepable to heart disease. Unlike alcoholism, it won't endanger the lives of others if he gets behind the wheel of a car.
Unlike anti-social attitudes, being gay won't make him torture little animals or steal to support a drug habit.

I would however make damned sure my child knew the very real dangers of unprotected sex.

OH WAIT...I've ALREADY had that discussion...a NUMBER OF TIMES! and my son isn't gay!
 

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There is a movie called "Latter Days." Quite interesting about homosexuality and the Church of Latter Day Saints. Saw it with a friend of mine when it was showing at a nearby theatre.
 

JustineCredible

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flip2 said:
There is a movie called "Latter Days." Quite interesting about homosexuality and the Church of Latter Day Saints. Saw it with a friend of mine when it was showing at a nearby theatre.

There's also another interesting one, albeit limited distribution, called: "Trembling Before G_d."

http://www.tremblingbeforeg-d.com/about/
Trembling Before G-d is an unprecedented feature documentary that shatters assumptions about faith, sexuality, and religious fundamentalism. Built around intimately-told personal stories of Hasidic and Orthodox Jews who are gay or lesbian, the film portrays a group of people who face a profound dilemma - how to reconcile their passionate love of Judaism and the Divine with the drastic Biblical prohibitions that forbid homosexuality. As the film unfolds, we meet a range of complex individuals - some hidden, some out - from the world's first openly gay Orthodox rabbi to closeted, married Hasidic gays and lesbians to those abandoned by religious families to Orthodox lesbian high-school sweethearts.
 

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I've got a confession, when I was around 13-14 I thought I was gay. I admired this guy in school, cool guy - looking back on it now though I wasn't attracted to him sexually, I just wanted to be like him. I even said to my MOTHER that I thought I might be gay lol! She just said, "Your too young to know." Maybe it did me a world of good, because I'm totally comfortable with my sexuality now.

My main point it is hard for a young teenager with hormones flying about to know if he/she is gay, bi or straight.
 

Urethra Franklin

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vauge said:
If my kid thought he was gay, after looking further into it - this might be an option. Sorry, don't buy the genetics thing. Hate is such a strong word. I don't "HATE" anyone, yet I am sure that many reading this would think otherwise. I just disagree with the lifestyle.

I don't buy the genetics thing either, but I do believe we are what we are. If you'd put your kid through this because of your own fears and prejuidces, because you want to mould him into what you want him to be, you can't possibly love him.

This is going down the "cure them" route. You can't cure people who aren't ill.
 

Urethra Franklin

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GarzaUK said:
I've got a confession, when I was around 13-14 I thought I was gay. I admired this guy in school, cool guy - looking back on it now though I wasn't attracted to him sexually, I just wanted to be like him. I even said to my MOTHER that I thought I might be gay lol! She just said, "Your too young to know." Maybe it did me a world of good, because I'm totally comfortable with my sexuality now.

My main point it is hard for a young teenager with hormones flying about to know if he/she is gay, bi or straight.
What a sensible mum you have, who didn't do the Texan freak on you.
Kids will be confused, they will experiment, and they will eventually find themselves, and no amount of pressure either way will change what they fundamentally are. And if that's gay, straight or bi, who cares? And if as a parent you do care, you don't love your kids or respect them for who they really are.
 

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vauge said:
If my kid thought he was gay, after looking further into it - this might be an option. Sorry, don't buy the genetics thing. Hate is such a strong word. I don't "HATE" anyone, yet I am sure that many reading this would think otherwise. I just disagree with the lifestyle.
I know I already responded to your post, but I got to thinking, what "lifestyle" is it you actually disagree with?

Yeah, I know, I have a real problem with the badge of "lifestyle" when speaking about the lives of individuals. Especially when those lives really aren't all that different from the ones who use the name.
I've said it before, my "lifestyle" is that of a suburban stay-at-home-mom. I run a small business out of my home which allows me to be there for my son. My life is focused on three main things. My child and family, my work and my friends. That's about it. That's about it for MOST people, regardless of sexual orientation.

So, is it that you disagree with the " lifestyle" so much as it is, and I suspect I'm right, the sex itself?
 

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Urethra Franklin said:
What a sensible mum you have, who didn't do the Texan freak on you.
Kids will be confused, they will experiment, and they will eventually find themselves, and no amount of pressure either way will change what they fundamentally are. And if that's gay, straight or bi, who cares? And if as a parent you do care, you don't love your kids or respect them for who they really are.
hold on now, I support gays in every single way but just because a mother cares or is worried about their child being gay it doesn't mean that she doesn't love her child, it just means she is taking the news in a bad way. She is wrong in trying to change her child but that doesn't mean she doesn't love her child.
 

JustineCredible

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crimson372 said:
hold on now, I support gays in every single way but just because a mother cares or is worried about their child being gay it doesn't mean that she doesn't love her child, it just means she is taking the news in a bad way. She is wrong in trying to change her child but that doesn't mean she doesn't love her child.
No, it means she has Conditional Love...ie "I love you as long as you're straight."
 

shuamort

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crimson372 said:
hold on now, I support gays in every single way but just because a mother cares or is worried about their child being gay it doesn't mean that she doesn't love her child, it just means she is taking the news in a bad way. She is wrong in trying to change her child but that doesn't mean she doesn't love her child.
Well said crimson372. :applaud
 
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Why would homosexuality really be a choice? Do you think the mass numbers of people who claim they are homosexual really wish to voluntary join a group that is frowned on by a majority of America, subject to hate crimes, and also the victims of verbal and physical abuse (see this forum for a few examples)?

I'm sure that at least a few homosexuals would agree with me that if they had the ability to switch their sexual preference back and forth, they would become heterosexuals. If it is indeed a choice, then there's really no obligation to devote yourself to either sexuality.
 

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I know that if I could change to a heterosexual I would. Heck, if I was granted one wish it would be to become heterosexual. Why would I want my parents to hate me and my religion to frown down upon me.
 

JustineCredible

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jpwright said:
Why would homosexuality really be a choice? Do you think the mass numbers of people who claim they are homosexual really wish to voluntary join a group that is frowned on by a majority of America, subject to hate crimes, and also the victims of verbal and physical abuse (see this forum for a few examples)?

I'm sure that at least a few homosexuals would agree with me that if they had the ability to switch their sexual preference back and forth, they would become heterosexuals. If it is indeed a choice, then there's really no obligation to devote yourself to either sexuality.

Agreed.

Granted, I know my own experience is only to some, but my own experience isn't by any stretch of the imagination unique.

I, myself, had tried to "be straight." I knew that openly admitting that I was gay would only cost me friends and frowns of society in general. I lied, pretended I was straight, even dated and married someone of the opposite sex thinking, and falsely so, that if by doing so I would somehow magically BECOME straight.
It just doesn't work that way.
I was and am still and forever....gay.

The ONLY choice, as I have stated ad infanitumn, was either to live a lie by pretending to be something I'm not, or to live honestly and teach my son by my example of what honesty is.
That was my ONLY choice. One of which I'm very glad I choose to live according to my nature. It has lifted the self-hatred and depression from me. I am now very happy, have a wonderfully supportive family (both of origin and of choosing), and am raising a child who knows who he is and is not affraid of the truth.
 

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JustineCredible said:
So, is it that you disagree with the " lifestyle" so much as it is, and I suspect I'm right, the sex itself?
Actually, I do not care what goes on in anyone's home. We both are alike in that we agree that sex should be left out of the public. I am willing to go a bit further though - please do not tell my kid that a specific type of sex is ok - albiet same sex, S&M, oral or anything out of the normal boundaries. Let my child discover that on thier own when they are older. Let them have a childhood even. These topics do not belong on television, radio, or in the media.

I have as much issues with folks preaching homosexualism as I do wth preachers telling me I am going to hell without due cause. If I go to chuch, I exect that type of activity. If I go into a gay bar - the same applies.

The lifestyle that I was refering is the "I am gay- deal with it" type. I respect the type of person that states - this is me - accept me if you want. The "I am gay" clause is truely irrelivant.
 

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This article made the mainstream news? Wow! I'm surprised. Got a link, I'd love to see it! ;)

I mean, it's on SOVO, but that seems to be a gay source.
 
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